Dr. Nicole LePera

We say, yes, the world has caused me harm.

My parents maybe didn't meet my need and I feel this kind of way.

And maybe as a result now, I'm finding myself repeating some dysfunctional habits and patterns in my life, which I have found myself until recently doing that.

But if I just blame you,

for abusing me, neglecting me, hurting me, then how am I moving forward to create safety and security?

I'm not, right?

So I have to look at the role I'm playing by maybe simply allowing it and by saying, hey, I need a limit.

I need to remove myself.

And that's how I then take the control back.

Even if and when as some of us will wake up and be like, wow, there's a lot of dysfunction.

You're actually hurting me and that's not okay anymore, but it's actually not you.

It's me for not putting a stop to it sooner, for not removing myself before I've gotten to this point.

I don't think I'm familiar with it.

I think that giving words to what happened, having a safe place where we feel comfortable enough to share our story, past, present, future, whatever it is, and have that in a safe relationship.

I think a ton of research into what therapy is the best right to do to actually create change.

It's actually not landed on a type of therapy at all.

It's landed on

the relationship, the safety, the space to give words to our story.

Because for a lot of us, we've never had that.

We haven't had safety.