Dr. NoSleep

I mean, you have housekeeping carrying a screaming and pleading Mr. Sparks over their soiled, sheet-wrapped heads.

Then there's Mrs. Plum with her machete, looking a little out of sorts, if I'm being honest, as she waves the blade around.

And me, shouting and chasing after everyone, hoping to halt this nightmare.

And why can't I take him to room 330, Jensen?

Hmm?

Mrs. Plum snaps at me.

Because it's against Perkins' policy, Mrs. P. No guests are to be taken to room 330, ever.

It's, um, occupied.

No, Jensen.

Technically, it is a vacant room.

And as manager of the Perkins, I am allowed to reassign guests' room assignments as I see fit.

She stabs the machete in my direction, and I jump back even though she's still several feet away.

Mrs. Plum is very scary with that thing.

Also, if we are being technical, Mr. Sparks no longer qualifies as a guest since he was dispatched.

But he wasn't!

He's right there!

I point at the screaming man being held aloft by the horrible housekeepers.

It's why I try to only communicate with them by note.

They really creep me out, and that's saying a lot considering the nature of the Perkins.

No, Jensen, I dispatched him.