Dr. Paul Conti

This is not what we're doing, but this is what we need to do to make our lives better.

And sometimes it's what we need to do just to survive.

Very little bit.

It's a very small song.

Please help me understand more.

Cynicism is a very unhealthy defense mechanism.

It justifies in us.

It's also as aspects of denial and avoidance and rationalization.

It's false justification for stepping away from in our life.

So someone who's had their last three romantic relationships didn't go well, who says, I don't, no one ever wants to be a good partner.

There's no one good out there to be found, right?

I'm just, I'm not, I'm too smart for that to try and go find another partner or someone who is in a job they really don't

like and they're miserable in the job and says there's no better jobs everybody's the same everywhere right what it is it's a rationalization for giving up on life vitality generativeness in your life right and because it's rooted in us thinking we understand something it provides another little bit of payoff to us that is just short term and is bad for us it makes us feel smart and not naive

Anybody who thinks there could be a good relationship or a better job, that person is naive.

So now we feel good about ourselves for feeling cynical.

I'm smart enough and I know enough about the world to know, no, there's no goodness out there.

But think about how dramatic, talk about making a prison.

It's like the prison is made of cynicism wrapped in all that feeling of I feel good about myself, like I'm smart and I know the world.

Boy, we seal ourselves inside of a prison because that is a lie.

Is it true that it's difficult to find a good partner and a mutual relationship?