Dr. Paul Conti

And that's the unconscious part that sets the boundaries for us.

So, for example, if I'm saying negative things to myself all the time...

I'm changing the lay of the land inside where if, for example, a new opportunity comes my way, the ranges of responses that I may have to that is already kind of set.

And I'm more likely to look at that in a negative way or to look at it in an avoidant way or

in a fatalistic way, oh, it won't work out for me, right?

The boundaries of how I can even think about it are kind of set inside of me through the unconscious mind, which is why it is so important to understand ourselves and to realize that, for example, what we're saying to ourselves, what we're telling ourselves about ourselves

Thank you so much for having me.

If an opportunity comes my way, the range of possible responses is shifted inside of me.

So the unconscious mind kind of sets the lay of the land inside of us because so many things have to happen so quickly for our conscious mind to then navigate on top of that.

I mean, a lot gets laid down then, but it's not deterministic.

Meaning if there are very significant experiences, say that are traumatic in those really young years, it can start to shape the lay of the land.

So in a way that maybe a person is more defensive and avoidant, for example.

But sometimes if there's been trauma and the trauma is understood and addressed, there can be a resilience that comes from that too.

So even having negative experiences in those initial years, it doesn't determine anything about us.

What it says is that if we're not understanding it, if we're not able to think about ourselves and investigate ourselves, to bring compassionate curiosity to ourselves, then a lot goes on in us that is just automatic.

So that's kind of the negative part of it, right?

To say, if I'm not really looking at myself and thinking about myself, a lot that happens inside of me is automatic.

And a lot of that can be defined by negative things.

But if I can be reflective, if I can understand myself and bring myself to bear, I can start to change that.

So if I'm telling myself a negative story about myself...