Dr. Rhonda Barofsky

On to question four.

On to question four.

identify with having a certain bad self or good self I think is helpful but to see it as behaviors and habits that we can practice and change over time another misuse I think of thinking that you have a personality or a self I've seen so many examples along the lines of let's say a fellow gets angry and smashes his wife in the face during a moment of anger.

identify with having a certain bad self or good self I think is helpful but to see it as behaviors and habits that we can practice and change over time another misuse I think of thinking that you have a personality or a self I've seen so many examples along the lines of let's say a fellow gets angry and smashes his wife in the face during a moment of anger.

And then you hear him later on saying, well, that wasn't the real me. And it always pissed me off to hear that as if he had some real ideal self. And so anytime he does bad stuff, it's not really him, but it is really you, buddy. And that's a part of who you are. It's a part of your behavior. And if you keep saying that that's not the real me, you're just full of more denial and bullshit.

And then you hear him later on saying, well, that wasn't the real me. And it always pissed me off to hear that as if he had some real ideal self. And so anytime he does bad stuff, it's not really him, but it is really you, buddy. And that's a part of who you are. It's a part of your behavior. And if you keep saying that that's not the real me, you're just full of more denial and bullshit.

You got angry. You wanted to hurt your wife. You intended to make a fist and smash her in the face, and you wanted to hurt her. And you can do all the denial you want, but that's what actually happened. Now, there's all kinds of things you can do to change that, to work on that, but to start out with that's not the real me. Come on, give me, as the Buddha so often said, give me an effing break.

You got angry. You wanted to hurt your wife. You intended to make a fist and smash her in the face, and you wanted to hurt her. And you can do all the denial you want, but that's what actually happened. Now, there's all kinds of things you can do to change that, to work on that, but to start out with that's not the real me. Come on, give me, as the Buddha so often said, give me an effing break.

Yeah, who was it then? Right.

Yeah, who was it then? Right.

Now we have one for you to feast on, Matt. And I think that there might be some area for overlap in our thinking on free will. And I'm very excited. I don't know if you read the notes I added earlier.

Now we have one for you to feast on, Matt. And I think that there might be some area for overlap in our thinking on free will. And I'm very excited. I don't know if you read the notes I added earlier.

But we will certainly certainly talk about it because I've been thinking about this and particularly in your idea of that, you know, part of when someone is a criminal, that they're doing things that perhaps are not entirely free in their in their actions. and to have a more compassionate view of other people, which is very much of a Buddhist thing.

But we will certainly certainly talk about it because I've been thinking about this and particularly in your idea of that, you know, part of when someone is a criminal, that they're doing things that perhaps are not entirely free in their in their actions. and to have a more compassionate view of other people, which is very much of a Buddhist thing.

But let's read the question and see what we think.

But let's read the question and see what we think.

I think there's a lot we can do with this, and I'll give you folks first shot. But I want to correct something that I correct over and over again, and it never does any good. And so I'll correct it again, and it won't do any good again. But he says the position that self doesn't exist seems extreme to me. Talking to me, David, as if I have said that or thought that.

I think there's a lot we can do with this, and I'll give you folks first shot. But I want to correct something that I correct over and over again, and it never does any good. And so I'll correct it again, and it won't do any good again. But he says the position that self doesn't exist seems extreme to me. Talking to me, David, as if I have said that or thought that.

And I take umbrage with it and want to say again, and I know no one will listen, no one will understand, I've never said that the self doesn't exist or implied that. What I've said is quite different, and that's that when you talk about the self, I don't know what you're talking about. It's the same way when you talk about God.

And I take umbrage with it and want to say again, and I know no one will listen, no one will understand, I've never said that the self doesn't exist or implied that. What I've said is quite different, and that's that when you talk about the self, I don't know what you're talking about. It's the same way when you talk about God.