Dr. Richard Hogan

You might love the idea of a partner coming into your life, a new person.

You've been left, you know, no, no kid wants their parents to separate.

Really?

Really?

You know, depending on the complexity of the relationship there.

But I'm saying if it's going well and all that, they don't want that to end.

And so when that pillar gets separated and it breaks down, you can become a little bit... And I remember thinking this, like, you know, you become a little bit less trusting.

You know what I mean?

And you become a little bit more...

Isolated maybe yourself, you become a little bit more reclusive and all that.

And so what can happen there is that when a new family comes into the dynamic of another family and they merge together to make a blended family, a couple of the kids in there mightn't be so delighted for a good reason.

And I mean, that's that's exactly the dynamic there.

And then where I can see clinically is, let's say, and this is what I would say generally from the male perspective, that his new female partner, let's say, if it's heteronormative here and all the rest of it, his new female partner, he's not too delighted about how she parents and how she mollycoddles her son or daughter, but particularly the son in my experience.

and how she mothers the son and how much attention she gives to the son.

And so we're wired for social competition.

And so there's all sorts of competitiveness there for attention.

Privileged.

I mean, this is what I hear in my clinic.

When that goes out and I hear the male partners be going, oh my God, that son of hers.

You hear that.