Dr. Robin Stern

By destabilizing.

By destabilizing.

Yes. Thank you for that because it's a really important piece. We forget that not all gaslighters are diabolical. Many of them are just like feeling fragmented in the moment on the spot. I got caught in something. And so how do I stabilize myself? How do I become what we call clinically cohesive? How do I bring myself together? How do I stand on the ground myself?

Yes. Thank you for that because it's a really important piece. We forget that not all gaslighters are diabolical. Many of them are just like feeling fragmented in the moment on the spot. I got caught in something. And so how do I stabilize myself? How do I become what we call clinically cohesive? How do I bring myself together? How do I stand on the ground myself?

Yes. Thank you for that because it's a really important piece. We forget that not all gaslighters are diabolical. Many of them are just like feeling fragmented in the moment on the spot. I got caught in something. And so how do I stabilize myself? How do I become what we call clinically cohesive? How do I bring myself together? How do I stand on the ground myself?

Well, I'm going to do that by destabilizing you. Yeah.

Well, I'm going to do that by destabilizing you. Yeah.

Well, I'm going to do that by destabilizing you. Yeah.

Exactly, exactly. Did you feel that in your relationship where there was that, like he needed to keep you by controlling you, right? Yes. Yeah. And so the minute you decide that you don't have to do that, Mm-hmm. is the same minute or the minute after you decide that you can live without him.

Exactly, exactly. Did you feel that in your relationship where there was that, like he needed to keep you by controlling you, right? Yes. Yeah. And so the minute you decide that you don't have to do that, Mm-hmm. is the same minute or the minute after you decide that you can live without him.

Exactly, exactly. Did you feel that in your relationship where there was that, like he needed to keep you by controlling you, right? Yes. Yeah. And so the minute you decide that you don't have to do that, Mm-hmm. is the same minute or the minute after you decide that you can live without him.

Exactly. And that's so important. And it's one of the reasons why it often takes a third person.

Exactly. And that's so important. And it's one of the reasons why it often takes a third person.

Exactly. And that's so important. And it's one of the reasons why it often takes a third person.

who comes in and says, what are you doing? This isn't like, you're not the same person you used to be. Like, I never see you anymore. This is crazy. And suddenly you realize that some of what you need, it's already there inside of you. And some of what you need can come from someone else.

who comes in and says, what are you doing? This isn't like, you're not the same person you used to be. Like, I never see you anymore. This is crazy. And suddenly you realize that some of what you need, it's already there inside of you. And some of what you need can come from someone else.

who comes in and says, what are you doing? This isn't like, you're not the same person you used to be. Like, I never see you anymore. This is crazy. And suddenly you realize that some of what you need, it's already there inside of you. And some of what you need can come from someone else.

Right. That's right. And then the worse it gets in your relationship or the more you feel ashamed or the more you have those very vulnerable feelings that you don't want to share or the crazier your gaslighter seems, you certainly don't want to tell your friends about it because you know what they're going to say, the more isolated you become. And so it just begins to feed on each other.

Right. That's right. And then the worse it gets in your relationship or the more you feel ashamed or the more you have those very vulnerable feelings that you don't want to share or the crazier your gaslighter seems, you certainly don't want to tell your friends about it because you know what they're going to say, the more isolated you become. And so it just begins to feed on each other.

Right. That's right. And then the worse it gets in your relationship or the more you feel ashamed or the more you have those very vulnerable feelings that you don't want to share or the crazier your gaslighter seems, you certainly don't want to tell your friends about it because you know what they're going to say, the more isolated you become. And so it just begins to feed on each other.