Dr. Robyn Koslowitz

I had done some therapy.

The worst of my flashbacks, they existed, but they weren't taking me over anymore.

But I thought that this dissociation was great.

I was like, this is fabulous.

I get to get so much accomplished.

I do triple what everybody else does and I never have to feel stressed out.

And I thought, great, fabulous.

I've got this covered.

And then when my son started to cry, it just broke my heart.

And I said, oh, no, this was my biggest fear.

Like even when my husband proposed to me and I knew we wanted kids was like, I'm so damaged.

How can I be someone's mom?

Like my damage is going to damage my kids.

And then I thought I had this like brilliant shortcut until he asked that to me.

And I remember looking at him and just thinking, do you want me to feel my stress?

Because I will yell at you.

I don't want to yell at you.

It was almost like as if he had said to me, like, mommy, you're five feet tall and I need my mom to be six feet tall.

So just grow a foot, please, because I need you to dunk basketballs.

OK, but I can't.