Dr. Shadé Zahrai

People are blaming others, the situation, the traffic, the weather, my husband, my wife, my boyfriend, my team.

There's no personal accountability and they will share that with everybody else.

The third one is resentment.

Where again, they are resentful to other people because they feel like everyone else has an easier life than they do.

And that also leads them to play into this victim mindset.

Why me?

And the fourth is, okay, so you know those people that come to you and they share with you their objectively difficult life stories?

And the first time they share it with you, you are so filled with empathy and compassion for what they've been through.

And then by the time they've shared it with you the 20th or 30th time, you realize they are keeping themselves stuck by ruminating on it.

Yes.

And because it's safer for them, they feel safer when they can hold on to a wound because it reinforces this view of I am a victim.

I am powerless.

Look at how terrible my life has been.

And they get sympathy from that.

So it's socially rewarding.

So this is what we see.

So the next question is, well, what do we do?

So if you're constantly overthinking everything, overthinking is a sign that you do not feel like you have control.

And it's your brain's attempt to try and manufacture certainty when there is none.

Your brain says to itself, because the brain likes to be really efficient, it wants to save energy.