Dr. Shadé Zahrai

You just bring yourself back to this regularly to remind yourself, okay, my attention is going onto these things, but I really want to care less about them.

How do I actively shift my attention to what I want to care more about?

When you consciously take control of your thoughts and

you're re-engaging the prefrontal regions in your brain.

We get more activation, more blood flow going here, and then it fundamentally shapes how you're showing up.

So that's a really, really simple practice if you're struggling with any kind of physical element.

So we see four really painfully familiar patterns with people who have low self-acceptance.

The first one is what we call the pressure to prove.

So this is where you feel like you're not enough.

So you have to prove your worth through achievement and setting and achieving the goal and getting the recognition and the title.

But what happens is you tell yourself, when I get there, then I will feel like I'm enough.

And you get there and it doesn't feel like you thought it would.

And then you just set the next goal.

So you're perpetually chasing this feeling of enoughness and you're proving yourself, but it's not having the effect that you want.

That's the first pressure to prove.

The second one is what we call the likability trap.

So if you don't accept who you are, you outsource your worth to how other people see you.

And if they can like you, if they can see you as acceptable, then maybe you can see yourself as acceptable.

But then this leads you to sacrifice yourself.

You say yes when you really mean no.