Dr. Shadé Zahrai

I

Learn to lean on my strengths.

And I stopped trying to be like everybody else and realized, hey, I'm here because I have some value to offer.

How do I tap into that value?

And then so that was kind of my journey.

And that I completely forgot the question that you asked me, but that's a little bit about my how I got there.

Oh, what I wanted to share is.

Something that I used to do, which people listening might do if they struggle with acceptance.

Because we want other people to be happy with us, we say yes compulsively, reflexively, before we even know what we're saying yes to.

So we end up taking on more work.

We end up doing more than most people.

We end up exhausted because we don't know how to say no.

Saying no is a superpower, but it all comes down to how you say it.

So something that we encourage is what's called intentional delay.

All it means, studies have found that if you just delay by a number of milliseconds, you make a better decision under pressure.

So what that means is if someone asks you to do something, instead of immediately, yes, sure, and then having to spend your entire weekend at work, you would say, I would love to help.

Let me get back to you by the end of the day to make sure I am able to.

Or let me check my calendar and I'll get back to you within an hour.

So you're doing two things.

You're creating a delay and then committing to get back to them.