Dr. Tara Swart

Um, so if you can identify what that is and create a positive affirmation that's like the opposite of it or something that counteracts it, then that can be a great way to get started. My phrase would have been, it has to be perfect and it's not going to be perfect.

I wouldn't have been able to say this last year, but now I would I would probably be able to say it is going to be better than perfect. It is going to be amazing. Like I know it. But to get myself there, I could have said it doesn't have to be perfect, but it's going to be great. Or I could have said maybe it will be perfect.

I wouldn't have been able to say this last year, but now I would I would probably be able to say it is going to be better than perfect. It is going to be amazing. Like I know it. But to get myself there, I could have said it doesn't have to be perfect, but it's going to be great. Or I could have said maybe it will be perfect.

Sometimes a question I ask myself is what's the best possible outcome that could happen here? So it's changing your language in your mind about the things that you think. So that's basically metacognition, which is that you can understand your own thinking. And then reversing that narrative quite strongly, even if it doesn't feel like it's totally true.

Sometimes a question I ask myself is what's the best possible outcome that could happen here? So it's changing your language in your mind about the things that you think. So that's basically metacognition, which is that you can understand your own thinking. And then reversing that narrative quite strongly, even if it doesn't feel like it's totally true.

And just repeating that so much that you start to wear down that other pathway.

And just repeating that so much that you start to wear down that other pathway.

Yeah, yeah, it really matters. Yeah, how we speak about ourselves.

Yeah, yeah, it really matters. Yeah, how we speak about ourselves.

I mean, it's neuroplasticity. If you're repeating something in your mind or out loud, then if that's being repeated more than another statement, it's the one that your brain's going to believe.

I mean, it's neuroplasticity. If you're repeating something in your mind or out loud, then if that's being repeated more than another statement, it's the one that your brain's going to believe.

Mm-hmm.

Mm-hmm.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah, I think there's an element of reality to it. So there's a few things there, which is those particular things that you said are very shallow. They are not really the things that people should need to be saying to themselves. What I find, and I picked this up from the podcast with Lewis, is he said that sometimes he would just say to himself, I'm safe, I'm safe, I'm okay.

Yeah, I think there's an element of reality to it. So there's a few things there, which is those particular things that you said are very shallow. They are not really the things that people should need to be saying to themselves. What I find, and I picked this up from the podcast with Lewis, is he said that sometimes he would just say to himself, I'm safe, I'm safe, I'm okay.

And actually just sometimes saying to myself, I'm safe. is that's what I need to hear, not I'm beautiful and I'm amazing. That does feel like, A, it's the kind of thing that everybody probably wants to say, B,

And actually just sometimes saying to myself, I'm safe. is that's what I need to hear, not I'm beautiful and I'm amazing. That does feel like, A, it's the kind of thing that everybody probably wants to say, B,

Yeah, it's not addressing. And I'm going to be rich. I mean, that's the worst one because you actually have to do stuff to make that happen. You know, you can't just say that. So I think finding the stuff that you need to say to yourself that is not to do with social expectation or parental expectation or, you know, social group.