Dr. Tara Swart

speaker

511 appearances 9 recordings 7 series first heard Dec 2024 last heard 24 May

Dr. Tara Swart’s voice in public audio — every appearance, attributed to the second.

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recordings per month · last 12 months

Recordings per month over the last 12 months — 3 in all, peaking in May 2026 with 1.

Appearances

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The School of Greatness · Fear and Attachment Are Blocking Your Manifestation · 25 Dec 2024 podcast

And it changes in a different way if they wait and they actually create a bond. First. Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah. So for the woman, it's not so much to do with whether they are already in love with the person or not. If they're having sex and they're releasing oxytocin, because we don't have as much testosterone as you. You've got at least seven to eight times as much testosterone as me. And that buffers the effect of oxytocin, whereas I would get the full effect of oxytocin. Yeah.

Yeah.

And then sex will, then the oxytocin isn't as buffered by the testosterone. So when you've got the vasopressin and the oxytocin high, then the testosterone has less negating effect on it.

So I think, you know, the whole like visual and smell thing at start is quite interesting. And then the receptors and hormones to do with bonding and sex is really interesting. I would say that because we live so much longer now, you know, we're using these cave analogies. But to be honest, in cave times, you and I would both be dead.

Yeah.

So relationships potentially have to last for longer. And I think there's two things to say here. One is that you can use neuroplasticity to keep growing and changing in a way that keeps a relationship fresh. if you are holding onto this fantasy that a relationship has to last forever, even if we're now living till we're 100, right?

So I think another way to look at it is about being in the present, not necessarily putting this intense pressure on yourself, your partner, and the relationship that it has to last forever.

Understanding that even if a relationship breaks down and that's obviously difficult to handle at the time, that there are potential possibilities for something that's more right for you at a different age than maybe a choice you made in your twenties. So, you know, nothing, you don't have to be a neuroscientist to say those two things.

It's kind of like just using your brain to understand that there's a certain amount of time, there are benefits to being in long-lasting relationships, but there are possible alternatives as well.

Dhru Purohit Show · How to Manifest Your Dreams and Work Past Self Doubt in 2025 · 16 Dec 2024 podcast

So there's all sorts of reasons that people feel like that, and it comes from what we call ghosts. And so ghosts are related to neural pathways that have been there for so long in your brain that you're not even aware that they are there. So the earlier in childhood that a neural pathway formed and kind of became strong, the more of a ghost it is.

And these are formed by things like the boundaries that your family had. So if some people have very strict families and some people have very open homes where people could just drop by anytime and stay over or whatever, the values that were held in your family When I say family, I mean the environment that you grew up in, any secrets, any role identifications.

So this can sometimes be things like, oh, you're just like your father, or it could be things like, you know, you're the kind of go-between messenger in the family, you know, whatever. So there's a lot of things that create these very, very old, deeply embedded neural pathways. And so for such a variety of complex reasons, any of us could think that's never gonna work out for me.

My number one tip for overcoming that is obviously address anything that's like an obvious reason that you might think that, and that could be in therapy or through journaling. But when you have a thought like that, it's underpinned by a belief about yourself, and it's usually to do with deservingness.

So trying to work out specifically what that is for you and then creating a positive affirmation that's the opposite of that statement. So let's say you're thinking, stop kidding yourself, that's not gonna happen for you. And it's because you repeatedly watched one of your parents, say that they were going to achieve something, but then fail over and over again.

And that's what you witnessed as a child. So your belief could be something like, failure happens more than success. So what you'd have to make your positive affirmation is success happens more than failure. Now, at first, that might seem like you're not even telling the truth. but it has to be quite a bold statement.

So even if it doesn't feel true right now, every time you think failure happens more than success, you have to say out loud or write down or in your mind, success happens more than failure. And you need to keep repeating that until that becomes more of a natural thought process for you.

I think the one that came up that really had to change for me, that was big for me, and I'm sure has contributed to the creative story, was that everything had to be perfect. I had to get 10 out of 10 on the spelling test, and if I didn't, I was questioned about why I got one thing wrong as a kid. An affirmation I made when I changed my career was let your true self shine through.

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