Dr. Tracy Vaillancourt

It's precisely what you said, everything, all of the above. And you and I talked about it in the last time we spoke too, is it really is like the hierarchies are pretty pronounced in elementary and high school. They're maintaining their power holding position coercively, but also using pro-social means. So it really has to do with that. So how do you maintain power? Well,

You abuse those below you. You scare them. But then you also charm them. So like it's complicated. It's, again, this blending of pro-social and anti-social behavior. And then there's lack of autonomy. You spoke a little bit about that before. And it really is that. Like they don't have the same autonomy that you and I have. You know, as friends in adulthood, you treat me poorly.

You abuse those below you. You scare them. But then you also charm them. So like it's complicated. It's, again, this blending of pro-social and anti-social behavior. And then there's lack of autonomy. You spoke a little bit about that before. And it really is that. Like they don't have the same autonomy that you and I have. You know, as friends in adulthood, you treat me poorly.

You abuse those below you. You scare them. But then you also charm them. So like it's complicated. It's, again, this blending of pro-social and anti-social behavior. And then there's lack of autonomy. You spoke a little bit about that before. And it really is that. Like they don't have the same autonomy that you and I have. You know, as friends in adulthood, you treat me poorly.

I don't have to worry about seeing you again at school. So we're done. I can move on. Whereas in high school and elementary school, you are going to see them again and you're going to have to manage that. And there's just some kids that are just more dominant than others, right? And they're imposing their will on others. And not everybody's appreciating that.

I don't have to worry about seeing you again at school. So we're done. I can move on. Whereas in high school and elementary school, you are going to see them again and you're going to have to manage that. And there's just some kids that are just more dominant than others, right? And they're imposing their will on others. And not everybody's appreciating that.

I don't have to worry about seeing you again at school. So we're done. I can move on. Whereas in high school and elementary school, you are going to see them again and you're going to have to manage that. And there's just some kids that are just more dominant than others, right? And they're imposing their will on others. And not everybody's appreciating that.

But not everybody has the same skill set to be able to impose their will on others. There's little primates put together in same age bands. And then that same age band is then mixed with other age bands. And we wonder why it happens.

But not everybody has the same skill set to be able to impose their will on others. There's little primates put together in same age bands. And then that same age band is then mixed with other age bands. And we wonder why it happens.

But not everybody has the same skill set to be able to impose their will on others. There's little primates put together in same age bands. And then that same age band is then mixed with other age bands. And we wonder why it happens.

It affects all aspects of their life. It affects everything in the immediate and then the long term. It affects their mental health, their physical health, their academic achievement, their sense of self. It changes who they are. Fundamentally, and not only that, it lasts a lifetime.

It affects all aspects of their life. It affects everything in the immediate and then the long term. It affects their mental health, their physical health, their academic achievement, their sense of self. It changes who they are. Fundamentally, and not only that, it lasts a lifetime.

It affects all aspects of their life. It affects everything in the immediate and then the long term. It affects their mental health, their physical health, their academic achievement, their sense of self. It changes who they are. Fundamentally, and not only that, it lasts a lifetime.

So studies that have followed individuals 30, 50 years show that you can identify somebody who was bullied at 10 and they still have higher mental health rates at 50. And at 60, it's a scar that never heals. Now, some, of course, will have it, will get by. But for the most part, you won't. And the reason why you won't is that it's so salient. It's so disruptive.

So studies that have followed individuals 30, 50 years show that you can identify somebody who was bullied at 10 and they still have higher mental health rates at 50. And at 60, it's a scar that never heals. Now, some, of course, will have it, will get by. But for the most part, you won't. And the reason why you won't is that it's so salient. It's so disruptive.

So studies that have followed individuals 30, 50 years show that you can identify somebody who was bullied at 10 and they still have higher mental health rates at 50. And at 60, it's a scar that never heals. Now, some, of course, will have it, will get by. But for the most part, you won't. And the reason why you won't is that it's so salient. It's so disruptive.

It serves a function for you to never forget. So it's a social pain that's seared in your amygdala and you're never going to get past it. You may be better, you may get better for sure.

It serves a function for you to never forget. So it's a social pain that's seared in your amygdala and you're never going to get past it. You may be better, you may get better for sure.

It serves a function for you to never forget. So it's a social pain that's seared in your amygdala and you're never going to get past it. You may be better, you may get better for sure.

But if you think about it, so like if you and I did a thought experiment right now, and I know you said you were bullied as a child, and you think about those moments, you're probably gonna still have a visceral reaction. And that has an evolutionary significance. That not belonging is so salient. It's how we got ahead as a human species.