Dr. Wendy Osefo
Appearances
Creating Confidence with Heather Monahan
Confidence Classic: The Truth About Confidence, Criticism, and Real Legacy with Dr. Wendy Osefo
Hey there or love it. People are going to say something. And that's why when I was thinking about going into the show, I said in my life, whether it's being a professor or being a commentator, I lead with authenticity. I'm always true to who I am. Like I never go in there. Like I know people, even in the political realm, they don't believe what they're saying.
Creating Confidence with Heather Monahan
Confidence Classic: The Truth About Confidence, Criticism, and Real Legacy with Dr. Wendy Osefo
You know, my background is Nigerian. I come from a Nigerian household. And the reason I preface this statement with that is because growing up in a Nigerian household, you're always being raised with different like parables, as I like to call it. Right. And so one of the parables that my dad always used to say is, you know, in life, we have two stages. You
Creating Confidence with Heather Monahan
Confidence Classic: The Truth About Confidence, Criticism, and Real Legacy with Dr. Wendy Osefo
There's a stage where you will become a mentor. There's a stage where you'll become a mentee. And you have to know where you are in life and what stage you currently are at. And the reason I say that is because a lot of times in my life, I would question myself and question, you know, should I be here? I would reassure myself and say, yes, you're supposed to be here.
Creating Confidence with Heather Monahan
Confidence Classic: The Truth About Confidence, Criticism, and Real Legacy with Dr. Wendy Osefo
You're just not at the stage where you are the mentor yet. You're still learning. You know, this is your learning phase. And so I think that instead of us to say, we're not supposed to be here, let's walk away. We have to look at it differently and say, We're not necessarily experts yet, but we are still supposed to be here. This stage in our life is a learning stage.
Creating Confidence with Heather Monahan
Confidence Classic: The Truth About Confidence, Criticism, and Real Legacy with Dr. Wendy Osefo
And in this learning stage, I will gather all the information I can get. And hopefully one day I will be an expert. And then my role will change from a mentee to a mentor.
Creating Confidence with Heather Monahan
Confidence Classic: The Truth About Confidence, Criticism, and Real Legacy with Dr. Wendy Osefo
So I've been able to reframe my thinking and just look at life differently and say, whenever I'm insecure about my positioning, it's not that I'm not supposed to be here, but rather I still have a lot to learn in this space and to take up space and learn that thing.
Creating Confidence with Heather Monahan
Confidence Classic: The Truth About Confidence, Criticism, and Real Legacy with Dr. Wendy Osefo
Amazing.
Creating Confidence with Heather Monahan
Confidence Classic: The Truth About Confidence, Criticism, and Real Legacy with Dr. Wendy Osefo
That's super cool.
Creating Confidence with Heather Monahan
Confidence Classic: The Truth About Confidence, Criticism, and Real Legacy with Dr. Wendy Osefo
You know, I think it's always interesting, you know, because even outside of those hats, I'm also a professor, right? And I have students who come from various political backgrounds and they have different political ideologies.
Creating Confidence with Heather Monahan
Confidence Classic: The Truth About Confidence, Criticism, and Real Legacy with Dr. Wendy Osefo
And I've done a very good job of, you know, situating myself in the middle and saying, I have my own political views, but I think what's most important here is for all of us to be civically engaged. And that's, what's the most important to me, whether you are on the left side of the aisle or the right side of the aisle, that is your complete, you know, right as a citizen. But again,
Creating Confidence with Heather Monahan
Confidence Classic: The Truth About Confidence, Criticism, and Real Legacy with Dr. Wendy Osefo
The worst thing to do is not to have engagement. And that's where I am always situated in the middle. And I say to people, these are my personal views. These are my personal political views. And it's rooted in my background, my upbringing and things like that and just things I've read. But it doesn't mean that we should alienate each other.
Creating Confidence with Heather Monahan
Confidence Classic: The Truth About Confidence, Criticism, and Real Legacy with Dr. Wendy Osefo
My closest friend in the political sphere is actually someone who sits on the different side of the aisle from me. And we learn so much from each other. And I say that to say, I think that people make politics a nasty word, but it's really not. Like, I learned so much from other people. And I just wish that we would remove all of the, you know, just the cattiness that comes with it.
Creating Confidence with Heather Monahan
Confidence Classic: The Truth About Confidence, Criticism, and Real Legacy with Dr. Wendy Osefo
Well, my first question to people, if I find that they sit on the same side as me or they sit on a different aisle as me, my first question is why? Why do you believe that? Because sometimes people don't know why they believe or they vote for a certain political party. They just say, oh, I'm this. I'm a Republican. I'm a Democrat. Mm-hmm. And I challenge people all the time and I say, why?
Creating Confidence with Heather Monahan
Confidence Classic: The Truth About Confidence, Criticism, and Real Legacy with Dr. Wendy Osefo
And it's just a simple question, but it leads to a conversation. It'll say, you know, I was raised in a blue collar town and, you know, my blue collar town, this happened or this president gave a similar, like there's always a story. And if there's not a story, it makes people start to think, okay, why do I believe this political view? So I always start with why. I am an educator at heart.
Creating Confidence with Heather Monahan
Confidence Classic: The Truth About Confidence, Criticism, and Real Legacy with Dr. Wendy Osefo
That's what I am. I'm a professor. So I come to people at the very root of every issue and we build upon. I think the thing is when people say Black Lives Matter, you may already think, all right, what do I associate Black Lives Matter with? And so because you've said that, I know the type of person you are.
Creating Confidence with Heather Monahan
Confidence Classic: The Truth About Confidence, Criticism, and Real Legacy with Dr. Wendy Osefo
Or if someone says, I'm a Trump supporter, someone may say, okay, because you're a Trump supporter, I already know who you are and what you think. No. just simply take things to the basics and say, okay, you're Trump supportive. Cool. Why? Tell me why. And that throws a lot of people off guard because they think you're going to attack them.
Creating Confidence with Heather Monahan
Confidence Classic: The Truth About Confidence, Criticism, and Real Legacy with Dr. Wendy Osefo
If you say Black Lives Matter, you know, some people may be like, why do you don't think all lives matter? No, just say, oh, Black Lives Matter. Oh, okay. Why? educate me, you know? And when you start having conversations like that and taking out the antagonistic nature of it, it's simple. It's like, okay, tell me why. Oh, okay. That's why. Well, let me tell you why I believe what I believe.
Creating Confidence with Heather Monahan
Confidence Classic: The Truth About Confidence, Criticism, and Real Legacy with Dr. Wendy Osefo
And then they're like, uh, no one has ever told me that no one has ever talked to me like this is usually, you know, banter and you're stupid. You're this, you're that. And we don't need all of that. Like, tell me why. And I'll tell you why we can move forward and then have a glass of wine. I like that approach.
Creating Confidence with Heather Monahan
Confidence Classic: The Truth About Confidence, Criticism, and Real Legacy with Dr. Wendy Osefo
They're saying it because they know it will get attention or because, you know, they're being a voice or mouthpiece for someone. Everything I say, I believe. And even in the classroom, everything I say, I believe. So I say that to say with shooting the show, I came into it with the same mindset.
Creating Confidence with Heather Monahan
Confidence Classic: The Truth About Confidence, Criticism, and Real Legacy with Dr. Wendy Osefo
I agree with that. And I think that, you know, if nothing else, I've had a few friends who have said that this year they've just educated themselves and they've learned more about people, about organizations. And I just think that that's really important. So, you know, when you when people are saying Black Lives Matter, it's not because, you know, white lives don't matter or anything.
Creating Confidence with Heather Monahan
Confidence Classic: The Truth About Confidence, Criticism, and Real Legacy with Dr. Wendy Osefo
you know, the lives of other people don't matter. Just simply saying we feel as though right now black lives are under attack. I cannot remember in my mind when I have seen a police officer kill a white man on tape. I cannot, I cannot, like I can't. But if you ask me, have you seen a police officer kill a black guy on tape? I could say, yes. I could literally say Philando Castile.
Creating Confidence with Heather Monahan
Confidence Classic: The Truth About Confidence, Criticism, and Real Legacy with Dr. Wendy Osefo
I could say George Floyd. I could say Rashad Brooks. I can name these people's names. And so I just think it's important for us to have these conversations, not because white lives don't matter. We're just saying that black lives are currently under attack and that's really what it is. And, you know, I have these conversations with my friends. You know, I was saying this the other day.
Creating Confidence with Heather Monahan
Confidence Classic: The Truth About Confidence, Criticism, and Real Legacy with Dr. Wendy Osefo
My son was invited over to one of his classmates, you know, houses. Everybody's in quarantine. Let's get together. And the mom said, you know, you guys should come over. Just got him a new, you know, water gun and all this other stuff. And I had to tell my child that he couldn't go and he didn't know why. And I said, because I don't want you playing with a gun. My sons, they're seven and five.
Creating Confidence with Heather Monahan
Confidence Classic: The Truth About Confidence, Criticism, and Real Legacy with Dr. Wendy Osefo
I have never bought them a toy gun. That may seem foreign to people, but that's because you have incidents like Tamir Rice. There was a 12 year old black boy who police pulled up that he was playing with a toy gun. They thought it was a real gun. Before they even looked at him, they killed him. He was 12. He wasn't doing anything. He was just playing. And that was it.
Creating Confidence with Heather Monahan
Confidence Classic: The Truth About Confidence, Criticism, and Real Legacy with Dr. Wendy Osefo
My sons will never have the privilege to play with a toy gun. Like that whole story of, you know, the Christmas story with the boy. His mom said, you'll shoot your eye out. Yeah, that's not relatable to my family because no one in my family that I can know of great, great has ever owned a gun. And the only person who did was my grandfather because he was a police officer.
Creating Confidence with Heather Monahan
Confidence Classic: The Truth About Confidence, Criticism, and Real Legacy with Dr. Wendy Osefo
We don't own guns because people think that you're going to kill them. So that is just something that says, that's how our lives are different. My son wants a super soaker. No, you can't get one. So just simple things like that, like just the bare things that make our lives different, but we live in the same country.
Creating Confidence with Heather Monahan
Confidence Classic: The Truth About Confidence, Criticism, and Real Legacy with Dr. Wendy Osefo
And I just, you know, sharing stories like that with my friends and them sharing different stories with me have just really made this time period one of learning, not just for white people, but also for black people. Like we're all learning. And as long as we continue to learn with open arms, I think that this country is on the right track.
Creating Confidence with Heather Monahan
Confidence Classic: The Truth About Confidence, Criticism, and Real Legacy with Dr. Wendy Osefo
Yeah, I think it's interesting when people say defund the police and what it means. It's like this whole notion of, I don't know if you ever heard of, you know, No Child Left Behind. I believe that was like one of the acts and everyone was like, yeah, you know, that's a great thing. No Child Left Behind. Nobody really read the policy because if you read it, it's really like, it's really bad.
Creating Confidence with Heather Monahan
Confidence Classic: The Truth About Confidence, Criticism, and Real Legacy with Dr. Wendy Osefo
But because of the name. Right. So defund the police doesn't necessarily mean like we want to defund the police. You know, I actually go further. That was my grandfather that I mentioned. My brother is actually a police officer currently. So I have police force. So every time I speak out, people always want to attack me like you hate police. No, my brother puts his life on the line every day.
Creating Confidence with Heather Monahan
Confidence Classic: The Truth About Confidence, Criticism, and Real Legacy with Dr. Wendy Osefo
But defunding the police, for me, Wendy's definition, it simply means that we give so much money to police, we need to start giving that money and allocating it to different entities. It doesn't mean police won't have. It's just that police have so much, like... The point that sometimes when you see things going on, you see them riding down the streets in tanks.
Creating Confidence with Heather Monahan
Confidence Classic: The Truth About Confidence, Criticism, and Real Legacy with Dr. Wendy Osefo
Why are we militarizing our police when we have schools that don't even have books that are older than the 1970s? In Baltimore, they don't even have air conditioning for students when they're in school during the summer months. But police officers are equipped with all types of stuff as if they're going to war. And they're not.
Creating Confidence with Heather Monahan
Confidence Classic: The Truth About Confidence, Criticism, and Real Legacy with Dr. Wendy Osefo
So for me, defunding the police is not something necessarily that I'm advocating for. But I am saying that when we look at public service entities, they should all be equally yoked as far as finances. That's it. I want kids to go to schools with the books that they can read. And they're not, you know, kids are getting kicked out of school because they owe a lunch balance of $2, $4.
Creating Confidence with Heather Monahan
Confidence Classic: The Truth About Confidence, Criticism, and Real Legacy with Dr. Wendy Osefo
But you're giving the police like $10 million. Why don't you take $1,000 and pay off all lunch debt so children are not getting kicked out of school? It's just all about equity. And I think that those conversations need to be had about how we're spending our taxpayer money.
Creating Confidence with Heather Monahan
Confidence Classic: The Truth About Confidence, Criticism, and Real Legacy with Dr. Wendy Osefo
Yeah, I think everyone is putting everything on the table now because it is an election year. And the election year is usually a tense time. I'm thinking back to 2016. I remember when that election was going on.
Creating Confidence with Heather Monahan
Confidence Classic: The Truth About Confidence, Criticism, and Real Legacy with Dr. Wendy Osefo
It's usually a tense time because everyone who feels as though they have been left out of the conversation starts knocking on the door and saying, excuse me, you forgot about me, as they rightfully should. If you are going to vote for someone, they should work for you. In a sense, our elected officials should work for us.
Creating Confidence with Heather Monahan
Confidence Classic: The Truth About Confidence, Criticism, and Real Legacy with Dr. Wendy Osefo
We're voting for you because we believe you're going to make our lives better. whether it's by enacting policy or whether it's by restricting policy. So I think that election year is just a time that everything bubbles up. I think that right now is just a really tense time in our country because it's an election year and we are also in a pandemic.
Creating Confidence with Heather Monahan
Confidence Classic: The Truth About Confidence, Criticism, and Real Legacy with Dr. Wendy Osefo
And, you know, that is just mixing and everyone is just tired and exhausted. People are dying. You know, so much going on this year. So this year is going to go down in the history books. Definitely.
Creating Confidence with Heather Monahan
Confidence Classic: The Truth About Confidence, Criticism, and Real Legacy with Dr. Wendy Osefo
Oh, that's so sweet. No, I feel that because my children, we have a dog. It's their first animal. She hasn't passed. She's still here. But our children, they have adopted birds and we have like a birdhouse and all that other stuff. And they were playing basketball. The ball rolled into the field and the ball laid beside the body of one of the birds. And my son... It was terrible.
Creating Confidence with Heather Monahan
Confidence Classic: The Truth About Confidence, Criticism, and Real Legacy with Dr. Wendy Osefo
My five-year-old was like, blue Jasmine and started screaming her name. I was like, oh no, they didn't take it that hard, but that was their first time. I think I even heard him say she's dead and I've never heard, you know, it's like, you know, it's hard. It's hard. Oh, my heart goes out to your son. Give him my name.
Creating Confidence with Heather Monahan
Confidence Classic: The Truth About Confidence, Criticism, and Real Legacy with Dr. Wendy Osefo
I'm sorry. Thank you so much. He's starting to do better. So thank you very much.
Creating Confidence with Heather Monahan
Confidence Classic: The Truth About Confidence, Criticism, and Real Legacy with Dr. Wendy Osefo
Okay, Nana. What does balance look like to me? Balance looks like, and I'll say this, and it may sound crazy, balance looks like failure, and I'm okay with it. Meaning, I know I cannot balance it all, and I know I cannot be 100% in all things at all times. And I have learned this year and a little bit of last year to be OK with that.
Creating Confidence with Heather Monahan
Confidence Classic: The Truth About Confidence, Criticism, and Real Legacy with Dr. Wendy Osefo
If my son has, you know, a big project for school and that's what we're focused on, that's what my priority is this week. So if I have to, you know, cancel some of my hits for TV because my son needs me, then so be it.
Creating Confidence with Heather Monahan
Confidence Classic: The Truth About Confidence, Criticism, and Real Legacy with Dr. Wendy Osefo
If I have a week that is a big debate that's coming up and I have to study for it and make sure I have all of my talking points, then, you know, that week Grubhub is going to be my best friend and I may not be mommy of the year cooking dinner. So balance means me realizing that some things I'm going to have to put to the side for just a short period of time until I handle upcoming deadlines.
Creating Confidence with Heather Monahan
Confidence Classic: The Truth About Confidence, Criticism, and Real Legacy with Dr. Wendy Osefo
And I'm okay with that. Before I used to do it all. And I have a daughter that just turned one. And I literally like beat myself over the head just to make sure, because I know she's my last one. And I just wanted to make sure I breastfed her and I had to go to one. And so many times I wanted to stop because I would have to pump before a segment. I will pump in between takes.
Creating Confidence with Heather Monahan
Confidence Classic: The Truth About Confidence, Criticism, and Real Legacy with Dr. Wendy Osefo
As you guys see on Real Housewives, there's like times where I'm like pumping. We traveled to Portugal and I brought back like over 100 ounces of milk like a psycho from a foreign country. I don't get it.
Creating Confidence with Heather Monahan
Confidence Classic: The Truth About Confidence, Criticism, and Real Legacy with Dr. Wendy Osefo
But I just feel like I always run myself into the ground trying to make everyone else happy that I realized in order for me, Wendy, to be okay, I have to be okay letting go of some responsibilities and not being super mom sometimes.
Creating Confidence with Heather Monahan
Confidence Classic: The Truth About Confidence, Criticism, and Real Legacy with Dr. Wendy Osefo
Oh, that's a great one. How do I approach that conversation? Well, all honesty, I always try to have a middle person. I'm a scapegoat type of person. Like, listen, I can't do it. And so I'll have, you know, my publicist or someone like reach out and be like, oh, something came up. It's not necessarily good, but... I'm a stickler for calendars. So I try to avoid those conversations.
Creating Confidence with Heather Monahan
Confidence Classic: The Truth About Confidence, Criticism, and Real Legacy with Dr. Wendy Osefo
Like when the school gives out the calendar for the year, everything is in my calendar. So I give myself 24 hours before, 24 hours after. Because if this is the date for the spring concert, that means we're going to have to practice. We're going to have a wardrobe, you know, make sure the wardrobe works. So if the spring concert is on a Wednesday, then I check out Monday.
Creating Confidence with Heather Monahan
Confidence Classic: The Truth About Confidence, Criticism, and Real Legacy with Dr. Wendy Osefo
So Tuesday, Wednesday and Thursday is all, you know, for me. So it's, it's always about managing and my husband and I, we sync our calendars. He's super busy as well. He's an attorney. So he has a million things going on. So we always try to, one of us is always present. We try for both of us to be present, but we always have one of us present. Um, And it's worked so far.
Creating Confidence with Heather Monahan
Confidence Classic: The Truth About Confidence, Criticism, and Real Legacy with Dr. Wendy Osefo
So fingers crossed that it continues to work.
Creating Confidence with Heather Monahan
Confidence Classic: The Truth About Confidence, Criticism, and Real Legacy with Dr. Wendy Osefo
And when I say if you can, because unfortunately there are finances tied to everything, right? But if you can, start looking for help now. Everyone is like literally scrambling because things are going to happen.
Creating Confidence with Heather Monahan
Confidence Classic: The Truth About Confidence, Criticism, and Real Legacy with Dr. Wendy Osefo
And spoiler alert, if your school is going to open, still look for help because the moment, God forbid, one child, one teacher comes in contact with the virus, they're going to be in trouble. that school is probably going to shut down. So that's just a spoiler alert for everyone. Like, don't say, oh, perfect, my child's school is going to open, good to go.
Creating Confidence with Heather Monahan
Confidence Classic: The Truth About Confidence, Criticism, and Real Legacy with Dr. Wendy Osefo
No, you're good to go for now until, God forbid, something happens and then they start all over. And we see that happening even now with the states. Like, you saw states opening up, beaches were open, everyone was fine, but then the cases started to rise and they had to shut everything back down. They're definitely going to do that again with schools.
Creating Confidence with Heather Monahan
Confidence Classic: The Truth About Confidence, Criticism, and Real Legacy with Dr. Wendy Osefo
And if you can, what I think is really great is if your child has friends in school and you are talking to those parents, see if you guys can come together to have one person, like a tutor, hire a tutor, and split the cost amongst five families. It'll be so much cheaper. So it'll be like a mini class. except they're doing it with their friends and it's still virtual.
Creating Confidence with Heather Monahan
Confidence Classic: The Truth About Confidence, Criticism, and Real Legacy with Dr. Wendy Osefo
So those are some tips I would say is one, be prepared for the worst possible outcome, even if the outcome looks good now. Two, try to find some help ahead of time. And three, do cost savings if you can by sharing that cost amongst other families if possible.
Creating Confidence with Heather Monahan
Confidence Classic: The Truth About Confidence, Criticism, and Real Legacy with Dr. Wendy Osefo
Here's somebody.
Creating Confidence with Heather Monahan
Confidence Classic: The Truth About Confidence, Criticism, and Real Legacy with Dr. Wendy Osefo
Oh, my goodness. I am a nervous wreck. It's weird because it's something that you do, like we filmed last year. So it's something that you do. No one knows about it. So you leave it. The next day, your life is almost like back to normal, right? Like you're done shooting the season. Now it's like everyone is about to watch this show. Everyone is going to be invited into your home.
Creating Confidence with Heather Monahan
Confidence Classic: The Truth About Confidence, Criticism, and Real Legacy with Dr. Wendy Osefo
Everyone is going to have opinions. You may say something to do something. You think you're 100% right. And then the audience is looking at you like, oh my gosh, she's a grade A psycho. So it's like you are opening up yourself to the court of public opinion. And that is something that is not for the weak or the faint of heart. I'm glad that I've done some TV before.
Creating Confidence with Heather Monahan
Confidence Classic: The Truth About Confidence, Criticism, and Real Legacy with Dr. Wendy Osefo
So I know what that's like because I've come off of TV after doing commentary, but I killed that. My points were like solid. And I get these emails like, where did you get your doctorate? You're so stupid. I'm like, damn, I thought I killed that. So I have had those comments all the time. So I say that to say I'm a very humble person.
Creating Confidence with Heather Monahan
Confidence Classic: The Truth About Confidence, Criticism, and Real Legacy with Dr. Wendy Osefo
So I am nervous to open my life, my personal life to the court of public opinion, but it was a fun ride. So I enjoyed myself. It was good.
Creating Confidence with Heather Monahan
Confidence Classic: The Truth About Confidence, Criticism, and Real Legacy with Dr. Wendy Osefo
No, no, no, no, no. And so the reason I say that is my reaction and the way I reacted is very organic. Maybe like, and why I say no, I know for sure before we started filming, um, Okay. Well, maybe one person, one person, one person in all fairness. But I, my whole point of saying that is it wasn't enough.
Creating Confidence with Heather Monahan
Confidence Classic: The Truth About Confidence, Criticism, and Real Legacy with Dr. Wendy Osefo
It's like, it's basically like someone telling you, if you go into the water and you, your head goes under the water, just hold your breath. And you're like, okay, that makes sense. And then they push into the damn Atlantic ocean. It's not the pool, it's the Atlantic Ocean. So I was like, okay, I need different tactics here.
Creating Confidence with Heather Monahan
Confidence Classic: The Truth About Confidence, Criticism, and Real Legacy with Dr. Wendy Osefo
So they gave me great advice, but it wasn't anything compared to what I was about to go through. It was pretty intense. It was very intense.
Creating Confidence with Heather Monahan
Confidence Classic: The Truth About Confidence, Criticism, and Real Legacy with Dr. Wendy Osefo
And you called this woman out in front of everybody without missing a beat. It just doesn't seem like the same person. It's not, it's really not.
Creating Confidence with Heather Monahan
Confidence Classic: The Truth About Confidence, Criticism, and Real Legacy with Dr. Wendy Osefo
Um, it's so fun. It's so funny because my Zodiac sign is a Gemini and I feel like true, true to form. I have two personalities. I have like, you know, Wendy, that's just super goofy, silly. Like I swear my seven year old and my five year old, like we're like on the same like mental capacity, like when I'm home because I'm just so silly with them and so goofy.
Creating Confidence with Heather Monahan
Confidence Classic: The Truth About Confidence, Criticism, and Real Legacy with Dr. Wendy Osefo
And then I have my other side, which is like, I'm a boss. Like, don't play with me. You know, like, and I think she brought that out of me.
Creating Confidence with Heather Monahan
Confidence Classic: The Truth About Confidence, Criticism, and Real Legacy with Dr. Wendy Osefo
And it was so weird because after it happened, well, you guys are going to see after it happened, I was just like, oh, like literally in that episode, you guys are going to see me go through like Wendy being this person and Wendy going like, oh, that wasn't nice. Yeah. It's like the weirdest thing. It takes some time, but eventually you will see that side of me. It's so weird. I'm so weird.
Creating Confidence with Heather Monahan
Confidence Classic: The Truth About Confidence, Criticism, and Real Legacy with Dr. Wendy Osefo
They edited it. The season's done. Everything is done. But before you guys see episode one, we get episode one like two or three days before you guys see it. So I don't know what episode two is. I don't know what episode three is. I have no idea. So I have 48 hours to prepare myself for people calling me a psycho. That's it. I have 48 hours.
Creating Confidence with Heather Monahan
Confidence Classic: The Truth About Confidence, Criticism, and Real Legacy with Dr. Wendy Osefo
You don't.
Creating Confidence with Heather Monahan
Confidence Classic: The Truth About Confidence, Criticism, and Real Legacy with Dr. Wendy Osefo
You don't. You have to know that, you know, people hate it or love it. People are going to say something. And that's why when I was thinking about going into the show yesterday, I said in my life, whether it's being a professor or being a commentator, I lead with authenticity. I'm always true to who I am. Like I never go in there.
Creating Confidence with Heather Monahan
Confidence Classic: The Truth About Confidence, Criticism, and Real Legacy with Dr. Wendy Osefo
Like I know people, even in the political realm, they don't believe what they're saying. They're saying it because they know it will get attention or because, you know, they're being a voice or mouthpiece for someone. Everything I say, I believe. And even in the classroom, everything I say, I believe. So I say that to say, we're shooting the show. I came into it with the same mindset.
Creating Confidence with Heather Monahan
Confidence Classic: The Truth About Confidence, Criticism, and Real Legacy with Dr. Wendy Osefo
So if you don't like what you see on the TV, I'm okay with that. You know, like, because it will be different if I was faking or I was pretending to be somebody that I'll say to myself, Oh man, I wish I was just my authentic self. Maybe they were like that. No, you get what you get. And so I rather be hated for who I am than love for who I'm not. So this is who I am.
Creating Confidence with Heather Monahan
Confidence Classic: The Truth About Confidence, Criticism, and Real Legacy with Dr. Wendy Osefo
If you don't like it, move along.
Creating Confidence with Heather Monahan
Confidence Classic: The Truth About Confidence, Criticism, and Real Legacy with Dr. Wendy Osefo
I love that. Oh my gosh. I can't wait to see the show. So excited to see it. And I'm super excited to be on it. Oh, thank you. I'm super excited for now. We'll check back in a few weeks to see if you still feel the same way. Yeah, absolutely. Perfect. Perfect. And how does everybody find you, Dr. Wendy? You can find me on all social media platforms at Wendy Osefo.
Creating Confidence with Heather Monahan
Confidence Classic: The Truth About Confidence, Criticism, and Real Legacy with Dr. Wendy Osefo
So if you don't like what you see on the TV, I'm okay with that because it'll be different if I was faking or I was pretending to be somebody and I'll say to myself, oh man, I wish I was just my authentic self. Maybe they were like that. No, you get what you get. And so I'd rather be hated for who I am than love for who I'm not. So this is who I am. If you don't like it, move along.
Creating Confidence with Heather Monahan
Confidence Classic: The Truth About Confidence, Criticism, and Real Legacy with Dr. Wendy Osefo
I did think of the negative connotations that naturally come with reality shows and what that can imply. But the truth of the matter is you have to be authentic to yourself. Those shows cannot define you. You actually have the ability to define those shows.
Creating Confidence with Heather Monahan
Confidence Classic: The Truth About Confidence, Criticism, and Real Legacy with Dr. Wendy Osefo
And I think it's really interesting because a lot of people have said to me, I think that just having you on the show, in a sense, is elevating the franchise, right? Who I am and what I am is something that can never be taken away from me.
Creating Confidence with Heather Monahan
Confidence Classic: The Truth About Confidence, Criticism, and Real Legacy with Dr. Wendy Osefo
Whether you see a camera on me as I'm hanging out with my girlfriends and, you know, we're having a few drinks and you hear me say something witty or smart, that doesn't negate the fact that I'm constantly interacting in these streets marching for Black lives. It doesn't change the fact that I'm speaking truth to power when it comes to politics.
Creating Confidence with Heather Monahan
Confidence Classic: The Truth About Confidence, Criticism, and Real Legacy with Dr. Wendy Osefo
It doesn't change the fact that I'm the first Black woman to receive my PhD in my department. Those things can never be taken away from me. It's sort of the argument as women that we face that is often said, you're beautiful, but you should dress differently so people can take you seriously. If the way you dress can take away from your brains, then that doesn't make any sense.
Creating Confidence with Heather Monahan
Confidence Classic: The Truth About Confidence, Criticism, and Real Legacy with Dr. Wendy Osefo
So that's what I look at it as. I could be completely wrong, but who I am and what I've done can never be stripped away because of social choices I make with my girlfriends. No. And I don't do anything crazy. I'm really not, you know, there's some crazy things, but I don't do anything crazy. So you just get to see my fun side.
Creating Confidence with Heather Monahan
Confidence Classic: The Truth About Confidence, Criticism, and Real Legacy with Dr. Wendy Osefo
I think I also struggle with some of the insecurities that a lot of us face. Right. Even, you know, you listed also my degrees at every stage of me receiving one of my degrees. I suffer from imposter syndrome, thinking everyone around me is so much smarter than me. I'm not supposed to be here. So I have a sense of confidence that I carry with me.
Creating Confidence with Heather Monahan
Confidence Classic: The Truth About Confidence, Criticism, and Real Legacy with Dr. Wendy Osefo
But there are times and there are days where I just walk around and say, you know, am I biting off more than I can chew? So I rely heavily on my family to give me strength and to say, you got this. But most of the days I do walk around with my head held high saying, you know what? You're a bad bitch. You deserve to be here. Good for you.