Ed Helms

And on a hot August day, just a week after Babe Ruth's game-winning dinger, Duran has sent Quillen to deliver a warning from the government to drinkers everywhere.

And on a hot August day, just a week after Babe Ruth's game-winning dinger, Duran has sent Quillen to deliver a warning from the government to drinkers everywhere.

Okay, not exactly breaking news. The stuff has been blinding and even killing people all over the country. And I gotta say, it's pretty twisted to even phrase this as a warning because Quillen isn't some passive bystander here. It's his office doing this in the first place. He lists the chemicals the IRS has been using. See if any of them sound familiar.

Okay, not exactly breaking news. The stuff has been blinding and even killing people all over the country. And I gotta say, it's pretty twisted to even phrase this as a warning because Quillen isn't some passive bystander here. It's his office doing this in the first place. He lists the chemicals the IRS has been using. See if any of them sound familiar.

This product is compounded with benzene, kerosene, rucine, and various other products which make it a very deadly poison. That's the fucked up cocktail of poisons Gettler's been seeing in dead bodies at Bellevue. And it's a formula with an official name. We call this concoction Formula 6. And there it is, Formula 6. It's kind of snazzy sounding, but still enigmatic.

This product is compounded with benzene, kerosene, rucine, and various other products which make it a very deadly poison. That's the fucked up cocktail of poisons Gettler's been seeing in dead bodies at Bellevue. And it's a formula with an official name. We call this concoction Formula 6. And there it is, Formula 6. It's kind of snazzy sounding, but still enigmatic.

The important thing is, one of these toxic recipes has been given a public name. Here's Deborah again.

The important thing is, one of these toxic recipes has been given a public name. Here's Deborah again.

Quillen reminds everyone what the plan for these formulas is all about.

Quillen reminds everyone what the plan for these formulas is all about.

You see, there is a second, much more sinister layer to this press conference. Because Quillen goes on to say the Treasury Department knows that Formula 6 has not been effective enough, so they're going to release even more formulas that will be even more deadly. The really, really fucked up thing here is they know it's going to kill people. Just listen to the words Quillen uses.

You see, there is a second, much more sinister layer to this press conference. Because Quillen goes on to say the Treasury Department knows that Formula 6 has not been effective enough, so they're going to release even more formulas that will be even more deadly. The really, really fucked up thing here is they know it's going to kill people. Just listen to the words Quillen uses.

Kind of a weird way to talk about a public health crisis. And a downright evil way to talk about a public health crisis he himself was causing. I mean, imagine how different those Smokey the Bear PSAs would go over if we also knew that Smokey was an avowed arsonist. Quillen ended his press conference promising a wave of alcohol poisoning. As Debra Blum says...

Kind of a weird way to talk about a public health crisis. And a downright evil way to talk about a public health crisis he himself was causing. I mean, imagine how different those Smokey the Bear PSAs would go over if we also knew that Smokey was an avowed arsonist. Quillen ended his press conference promising a wave of alcohol poisoning. As Debra Blum says...

I wish I could tell you this shocked the nation, but it didn't. The next morning, a couple hundred words about the press conference appear on page 22 of the New York Times. Quillen's threat did not exactly start a national conversation, nor did it convert boozehounds into teetotalers from coast to coast. And honestly, did Quillen expect it to?

I wish I could tell you this shocked the nation, but it didn't. The next morning, a couple hundred words about the press conference appear on page 22 of the New York Times. Quillen's threat did not exactly start a national conversation, nor did it convert boozehounds into teetotalers from coast to coast. And honestly, did Quillen expect it to?

I mean, did he or James Duran or Mabel Walker Willebrand or anyone really think that announcing they were adding a little more poison would finally do the trick here? We don't know what was in their minds or in their hearts, but we know they proceeded just as Quillen said they would.

I mean, did he or James Duran or Mabel Walker Willebrand or anyone really think that announcing they were adding a little more poison would finally do the trick here? We don't know what was in their minds or in their hearts, but we know they proceeded just as Quillen said they would.

Oh, and even though Quillen is announcing the Feds are retiring Formula 6, that doesn't mean it's going to vanish overnight. Two months after Quillen's announcement, another bureau official casually tells the press he's aware of one million gallons of denatured industrial alcohol poisoned with Formula 6 sitting in warehouses right around New York City.

Oh, and even though Quillen is announcing the Feds are retiring Formula 6, that doesn't mean it's going to vanish overnight. Two months after Quillen's announcement, another bureau official casually tells the press he's aware of one million gallons of denatured industrial alcohol poisoned with Formula 6 sitting in warehouses right around New York City.