Eddy Laughter

But they can go, they can both be there together and they can both exist and they don't negate each other.

They're just both there.

And I don't just have that afternoon in a playground to figure it out.

I can sit with them for however long I need, and I can ponder my spirituality, what being Quakish means, and the fact that I have a heritage.

Thank you.

I'm on my way to see live music for the first time, and I'm so much more anxious than I think I have any right to be because this band I'm about to see, I'm completely and utterly obsessed with, and I have seen every interview YouTube will physically let me watch, and I listen to them so much.

At this point, it's probably doing something unhealthy to me.

I don't know how that would work, but it's happening.

And when I listen to, and this is because when I listen to them, all of a sudden I feel like I'm big and like I'm powerful and like nothing can touch me when I'm walking down the street, which is really not something I feel at this, like ever at this point in my life.

And I feel like so small and clunky and like I don't fit into my own body right.

And I'm kind of starting to think that the middle school mentality that I'll never fit into any scenario I go to is just gonna be how I live my life.

And I feel like I'm, like I just have to accept this at this point.

So it doesn't make any sense that I'm this anxious to see this band.

But I'm trying to think about what I can expect.

And I'm just kind of thinking about how in movies, punk shows are always like a bunch of loud, aggressive, intoxicated white boys.

And that doesn't really seem like my scene.

And I'm spiraling a bit.

And I'm looking around on the train.

And I see this girl who's about like 9 or 11.

I don't know how age works.