Elaine Welteroth
speaker
63 appearances
1 recordings
1 series
first heard Apr 2025
last heard Apr 2025
Elaine Welteroth’s voice in public audio — every appearance, attributed to the second.
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Appearances
So this is, I've never told anyone this, Mrs. Obama, but I'm going to tell you this because it applies to this person's situation. When I was 25, I happened to be dating. Don't judge me, Mrs. Obama. Okay. Let's hear it. Okay. You promise. I don't know.
Look who's talking.
Some big things are popping literally about you. Well, first of all, thank you so much for having me. What a dream. I am 33 weeks pregnant. Wow. I think 32 weeks pregnant today. Wow. Congratulations. Thank you so much. This is the perfect way to bless the bump before we get into that final, final stretch.
You got to choose who you're going to do it with.
It speaks to 25-year-old me, it does. Really?
So this is, I've never told anyone this, Mrs. Obama, but I'm going to tell you this because it applies to this person's situation. When I was 25, I happened to be dating. Don't judge me, Mrs. Obama. Okay. Let's hear it. Okay.
Let's just say this is one of those things. Okay. This is one of those things. So when I was 25, I found myself in love with a 50-year-old man. Okay. All right. And this 50-year-old man already had children. And at the time, you know, I really wasn't thinking about children.
And we were having a great time. you know, really wasn't worried about the future. But the deeper we got into the relationship, it came up that he didn't want to have children. How long were you dating before you... It came up pretty early on, I would say. And when he said he didn't want to have kids, I kind of heard what she heard, which is like, well, maybe there's still a chance, right?
You know, I think when we're young, we think that we can... maybe change people. And we think that maybe we could inspire a change, right? Like love conquers all and love. But you know, there are some practicalities in life that you do have to consider.
And one of the most important things that my mom has ever told me that Maya Angelou has said is that when somebody shows you who they are, or in this case, tells you who they are, Believe them the first time. That's right. And this applies in this situation. If this man has said to you, I love you, but I don't want to have kids.
And if you know deep down that that is something you really, really want. Mm-hmm.
A year.
I have the same question now. Looking back as a 37-year-old woman, I have the same question now. Right.
I want to tell Alice that sometimes the prayers that go unanswered are the ones you will be the most grateful for down the line. Because I will tell you now, looking back, Thank you, Jesus, that I did not end up going down that path and hoping that this man would change his mind. And, you know, God forbid he did. One of the things he would say, and I got to give him credit.
He did say, I do not want you to look up in your 30s and go, I gave the best years of my life to this guy. When we don't want the same things going into the future. And he said, he would say, you know, having kids is a young man's game. And at 25, I didn't get that. At 37, going on two kids with an energetic young man who was my age who can keep up with me. Oh, I get it now. That's right.
It is something that you have to have the conviction. And I think that, you know, in relationships, yes, you have to make compromises.
And yes, you'll hear that a lot from married couples, but there are some things you do not compromise on. And kids is one of them. If you do not have the conviction, if you don't really, really desire that, you are better off not wasting another person's time and entering into that lifelong partnership. Because if you can't support her fully in motherhood, leave her alone.
I know. Well, let's talk about that. Well, I do think there's this narrative that you have to wait to be chosen and what it means to be chosen by a man. And I think I had that, I call it the Carrie Bradshaw complex. You know, growing up with Sex and the City as kind of the waiting.
And that was my Mr. Big. That was my black Mr. Big. And I'm so glad that in that stage of life, God did not give me what I thought I wanted and needed because what I got was what I truly deserve. And I'll tell you, that breakup was the hardest breakup because it represented this like- The breakup with the older guy. The breakup with the older guy that I thought I wanted to do it all with.
was one of the hardest breakups for me because it was the disillusion of this constructed, concocted dream that had been fed to me that I embraced as like the only way to do it. That's what I'm, yeah. Right? And it was like this idea that some man is going to come along and save me and choose me and give me this life. You go to New York, you live your big, fabulous life.
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