Elaine Welteroth
speaker
63 appearances
1 recordings
1 series
first heard Apr 2025
last heard Apr 2025
Elaine Welteroth’s voice in public audio — every appearance, attributed to the second.
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Appearances
And then you got to find the guy with the, you know, the money bags, the guy with all the things going on. If you think, if you really stop, you're like, wait a minute. And we call ourselves feminists. Yeah, that's right. And we're subscribing to this notion. Yes. So it took a lot of unlearning for me to realize that, hold on a minute. I can be that rich, successful man that I was told to marry.
I could be that one. And I can choose the kind of partner that is going to complement my life, my dreams, and what I want, and vice versa.
Was it the breakup? Jonathan. The breakup was the humbling. But also, I wouldn't just say humbling. It was a moment of empowerment because I decided to leave that relationship.
Because a lot of people...
It wasn't my first time at the rodeo. I had had a couple of relationships before that that taught me this really important lesson. And I remember this is something that Oprah said, you walk at the whisper before it becomes a roar. I had not done that in the relationship prior to dating this older man. And I thought, the one thing I know for sure is that I will never wait for the roar again.
And so one of the contracts that we made when we first came together, because just so you know, just so you know, Mrs. Obama, I did not know the man's age when we started dating. See, I'm not feeling him, this guy.
You're like my mama. My mom told me this summer, finally told me, she said, that was one of the hardest times in my life as a mother. I'm sure it was hard for her to watch you go through that. And I was like, mom, you acted like you were fine with it. She was like, that was an act. That's exactly what that was.
Okay. But just so we all are clear here, I did not know his age. He didn't know my age until we were further down the line. So we made a pact with each other and we said, he said, actually, can you let me know if you're ever not having fun? If you're not happy anymore, will you let me be the first to know?
And that coupled with this idea that Oprah, Mrs. Oprah Winfrey has planted in my mind, it allowed me to do these self check-ins. And the deeper we got into the relationship and the more that I recognized that while I may not want to have a kid today, I can't really envision my life without the experience of becoming a mom. And when I do that, I really, I want an enthusiastic partner in that.
And I will not have that in this man. I don't want to pull somebody kicking and screaming into parenthood. I didn't want that for myself. And so I thought, you know, this is one of those decisions. I am at a crossroads. I can either... take what he's willing to give me, or I can cut him loose and allow for the possibility to get what I deserve. Good for you. And so I packed up my clothes. Mm-hmm.
And I left one day. And you were living with him, too. I wasn't living. I was just staying over there a lot. Okay, all right. I had my own apartment, okay? I was an independent woman. I was like, and you were staying over there. No, no, I was climbing in my career. By the way, I did not slow down in my career for this relationship. I kept climbing.
And, you know, so I'm very proud of myself for that. I kept on my path. But I decided to leave that relationship to allow for the possibility that it gets better. Yeah. And do you know that I reunited with Jonathan, this kid from church. The church boy.
That you overlooked and looked right past Jonathan. I sure did.
And now we met up. He happened to be in town. We met up. And I just remember being like,
The nice ones.
Right?
What is that? What is that? I had that. I had that syndrome. But we got to go on our own journeys. And, you know, I will say I'm so grateful for all the frogs I kissed before meeting what truly is my version. Not to be cliche and cheesy, but my version. Your real Mr. Big. My real Prince Charming. Yeah. And I will tell you right away, I felt at home. I felt my nervous system was calm.
It was the opposite of what I felt in these other relationships where it was like, my heart is pounding. It wasn't that. It was this peace. Say that again.
Woo! You're preaching. Yeah, yeah. So did you two speak about these things early in your dating life? Did you ask, do you want kids? Did you ask, do you want to be married?
Oh, he was one of those.
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