Elizabeth Brokamp

We've developed ways of dealing with that, too.

So writing each other an email to introduce the topic, for example, is one way we've dealt with that.

And then consulting neutral parties.

to get help with roadblocks, so seeking out the advice of others instead of directly having a conversation about it at that point.

I think those are good suggestions that may help other people.

It's really interesting to look at that list because I think by this point we've really grown up together.

We've grown into our partnership for sure.

So it doesn't feel the same anymore as when we were newly out of our family of origins homes and we were sort of reacting out of old money scripts.

We've mellowed out a bit.

We've developed a trust over time in each other's approach, and we really do a nice job of balancing each other out.

But the one that I think still feels relevant is the one about timing.

So approaching conversations at the right time.

It's definitely important to know your partner well enough to know when a conversation is going to flop like a lead balloon and when sometimes waiting just a little bit is going to lead to a more productive talk.

I thought about this, I came up with three things.

One is that I would definitely suggest to define winning as when you accomplish a financial goal together, not as when you get your personal way.

And I've noticed this even on our conversation today that

That when we talk, we're really careful to own our own part in problems or, you know, in situations that we've created financially and not really quick to blame the other person.

That's something that in my work as a counselor, I have seen definitely that pointing fingers can be really destructive.

Last, I'll say that it helps to be married to a retirement expert.

But since there's only one of you to marry, Robert, I'm really glad that people get to hear your advice on your show and in your articles.