Elizabeth Phillips

I've seen the guts of it.

It's not great.

Um... medications he'd try would make him fat, or, like, make the depression worse.

Man.

He was on and off suicidal for... for years.

I never knew when it would be the last time I, you know, these phone calls or visits, like... I always left thinking that could be the last time, you know?

And I'd go from, like,

carpool line where I'd see a Kanakuk bumper sticker to visiting Triana Psych Ward.

And I understand why he didn't want to live in this world.

Everyone in Dallas just thinks Kanakuk is like, I mean, not anymore, but like for the longest time.

People still sending their kids there.

He felt so unseen and he couldn't talk about it.

I would listen.

I'm so glad I leaned in.

I listened to everything he wanted to tell me.

And a lot of it got super dark.

And he was a brain researcher.

He was brilliant.

And he was working at the Langer Lab, which is a shared program between MIT and Harvard.

And he was studying the brain, I think, because he wanted to fix his own.