Elizabeth Smart

Those words, why didn't you, seemed to imply that I didn't do enough.

Whereas in my experience, I was like, I don't regret a single decision I made because I survived.

I'm here.

Like...

It was not a vacation.

Don't you think I wanted to be rescued before nine months was up?

I mean, nine months, that's a long time.

And so, you know, I was extremely defensive about it for years.

And so now when someone discloses something to you, I'm very specific in saying, do not ask questions that begin with the words, why didn't you?

Because the survivor or victim, they won't hear, why didn't you?

They won't hear the question.

They'll hear an accusation.

They'll hear you should have, you didn't do enough.

This is somehow your fault.

You should have been able to get away.

And that's wrong.

And that's unfair.

And I know that most people mean it from a place of just a place of curiosity and genuineness.

It's not them trying to be rude or hurtful.

But as a victim, that's actually what it ends up feeling like.