Ellen Hendriksen

It's like the bunny and the duck or the young lady and the old lady. Because there is healthy perfectionism, like the tendency to demand of oneself a level of performance higher than is required for the situation can be really great. That's when we hit it out of the park. That makes the world go round. That's when we strive for excellence. We do good work for the work's sake.

We set high standards. We care deeply. Please keep doing that. Those are all amazing things. But where it can go. tip over into unhealthy perfectionism and to clinical perfectionism is when we start to get into two things, when that demanding of oneself a level of performance higher than is required turns into something called over-evaluation, which was a new term for me.

We set high standards. We care deeply. Please keep doing that. Those are all amazing things. But where it can go. tip over into unhealthy perfectionism and to clinical perfectionism is when we start to get into two things, when that demanding of oneself a level of performance higher than is required turns into something called over-evaluation, which was a new term for me.

We set high standards. We care deeply. Please keep doing that. Those are all amazing things. But where it can go. tip over into unhealthy perfectionism and to clinical perfectionism is when we start to get into two things, when that demanding of oneself a level of performance higher than is required turns into something called over-evaluation, which was a new term for me.

And what that means is when we start to conflate our performance and our character. Essentially, when I did good means I am good, or I did bad means I am bad. And we can over-evaluate anything. So think of the striver student who derives their value from their grades, or the employee who sees their quarterly evaluation as a referendum, not just on their work, but their character.

And what that means is when we start to conflate our performance and our character. Essentially, when I did good means I am good, or I did bad means I am bad. And we can over-evaluate anything. So think of the striver student who derives their value from their grades, or the employee who sees their quarterly evaluation as a referendum, not just on their work, but their character.

And what that means is when we start to conflate our performance and our character. Essentially, when I did good means I am good, or I did bad means I am bad. And we can over-evaluate anything. So think of the striver student who derives their value from their grades, or the employee who sees their quarterly evaluation as a referendum, not just on their work, but their character.

The musician who's only as good as their last performance, the athlete who's only as good as their last game. We can really over-evaluate anything, like how healthy we ate today, whether or not we were awkward at the holiday party. It's wherever we think we have to perform as superbly as possible. to be sufficient as a person. So that's one of the big pillars. And the other is self-criticism.

The musician who's only as good as their last performance, the athlete who's only as good as their last game. We can really over-evaluate anything, like how healthy we ate today, whether or not we were awkward at the holiday party. It's wherever we think we have to perform as superbly as possible. to be sufficient as a person. So that's one of the big pillars. And the other is self-criticism.

The musician who's only as good as their last performance, the athlete who's only as good as their last game. We can really over-evaluate anything, like how healthy we ate today, whether or not we were awkward at the holiday party. It's wherever we think we have to perform as superbly as possible. to be sufficient as a person. So that's one of the big pillars. And the other is self-criticism.

And that needs no definition, but in clinical perfectionism, it's particularly harsh.

And that needs no definition, but in clinical perfectionism, it's particularly harsh.

And that needs no definition, but in clinical perfectionism, it's particularly harsh.

Yeah, absolutely. That's the $64,000 question. So this is... kind of at the edge of science, but it's starting to look like perfectionism, even though it in itself is not a disorder. It's more like a cross-cutting part of other disorders. You know, perfectionism is part of social anxiety, eating disorders, depression, like lots of OCD, lots of things.

Yeah, absolutely. That's the $64,000 question. So this is... kind of at the edge of science, but it's starting to look like perfectionism, even though it in itself is not a disorder. It's more like a cross-cutting part of other disorders. You know, perfectionism is part of social anxiety, eating disorders, depression, like lots of OCD, lots of things.

Yeah, absolutely. That's the $64,000 question. So this is... kind of at the edge of science, but it's starting to look like perfectionism, even though it in itself is not a disorder. It's more like a cross-cutting part of other disorders. You know, perfectionism is part of social anxiety, eating disorders, depression, like lots of OCD, lots of things.

And so even though it's not diagnosable in and of itself, it's definitely heritable. It's genetic. So it can come from within, from our own DNA. It can also come from the way we were raised. So there's some research just showing likelihood of if we were raised in a family where love is sort of contingent upon performance, where love and pride get confused.

And so even though it's not diagnosable in and of itself, it's definitely heritable. It's genetic. So it can come from within, from our own DNA. It can also come from the way we were raised. So there's some research just showing likelihood of if we were raised in a family where love is sort of contingent upon performance, where love and pride get confused.

And so even though it's not diagnosable in and of itself, it's definitely heritable. It's genetic. So it can come from within, from our own DNA. It can also come from the way we were raised. So there's some research just showing likelihood of if we were raised in a family where love is sort of contingent upon performance, where love and pride get confused.

If we were raised with a sort of snowplow or helicopter type of family, That can increase the likelihood that we come out perfectionistic. If we were raised in sort of a chaotic, unstable family where maybe there was some substance abuse, chronic illness that, again, made that family unstable, it's likely that we might come out feeling like we need to overcompensate for something.