Ellen Hendriksen

Because evolutionarily, we have to assess other people's intentions. Are they friend or foe? Are they in my tribe? So we have to assess their warmth, essentially, or lack thereof, before we evaluate their capability to fulfill those intentions, before we evaluate their competence. So warmth comes first and carries more weight.

Yeah, no, I actually, I love this question because I, so I take the subtitle of my book really literally, it's self-acceptance for self-critics and perfectionists. And there we don't even have to change anything. So, okay, let's take self-criticism.

Yeah, no, I actually, I love this question because I, so I take the subtitle of my book really literally, it's self-acceptance for self-critics and perfectionists. And there we don't even have to change anything. So, okay, let's take self-criticism.

Yeah, no, I actually, I love this question because I, so I take the subtitle of my book really literally, it's self-acceptance for self-critics and perfectionists. And there we don't even have to change anything. So, okay, let's take self-criticism.

So like I, you know, I have learned over the years that whenever I do something with a microphone or whenever I put a piece of writing out into the world, my brain will automatically

So like I, you know, I have learned over the years that whenever I do something with a microphone or whenever I put a piece of writing out into the world, my brain will automatically

So like I, you know, I have learned over the years that whenever I do something with a microphone or whenever I put a piece of writing out into the world, my brain will automatically

think it sucks and think it wasn't good enough but i have realized that this is just how my brain is wired that some brains are wired to be more optimistic or pessimistic more you know introverted or extroverted my brain and the brains of any other people with perfectionism are just fired to be a little more self-critical

think it sucks and think it wasn't good enough but i have realized that this is just how my brain is wired that some brains are wired to be more optimistic or pessimistic more you know introverted or extroverted my brain and the brains of any other people with perfectionism are just fired to be a little more self-critical

think it sucks and think it wasn't good enough but i have realized that this is just how my brain is wired that some brains are wired to be more optimistic or pessimistic more you know introverted or extroverted my brain and the brains of any other people with perfectionism are just fired to be a little more self-critical

But that doesn't mean that I have to listen to those thoughts or to take them so seriously or so literally that I can take the stance of listening to my self-critical thoughts like I listen to the music in a coffee shop. it's there in the background. It's, you know, it's happening and I can hear it, but I don't have to dance along. Like I don't have to sing the lyrics.

But that doesn't mean that I have to listen to those thoughts or to take them so seriously or so literally that I can take the stance of listening to my self-critical thoughts like I listen to the music in a coffee shop. it's there in the background. It's, you know, it's happening and I can hear it, but I don't have to dance along. Like I don't have to sing the lyrics.

But that doesn't mean that I have to listen to those thoughts or to take them so seriously or so literally that I can take the stance of listening to my self-critical thoughts like I listen to the music in a coffee shop. it's there in the background. It's, you know, it's happening and I can hear it, but I don't have to dance along. Like I don't have to sing the lyrics.

And this is a method called cognitive diffusion, which gets some perspective on the fact that our self-critical thoughts are just that, thoughts. And there are lots of ways to do this exercise. There's a A fan favorite method of doing cognitive diffusion is to sort of play with the thoughts to make them irreverent or like a little bit ridiculous. Again, to emphasize that these are just thoughts.

And this is a method called cognitive diffusion, which gets some perspective on the fact that our self-critical thoughts are just that, thoughts. And there are lots of ways to do this exercise. There's a A fan favorite method of doing cognitive diffusion is to sort of play with the thoughts to make them irreverent or like a little bit ridiculous. Again, to emphasize that these are just thoughts.

And this is a method called cognitive diffusion, which gets some perspective on the fact that our self-critical thoughts are just that, thoughts. And there are lots of ways to do this exercise. There's a A fan favorite method of doing cognitive diffusion is to sort of play with the thoughts to make them irreverent or like a little bit ridiculous. Again, to emphasize that these are just thoughts.

So I have a client who likes to picture animal from the Muppets banging his drum set and yelling his thought, which is everyone will judge you. And I have another client who her thought is, you're going to let everyone down. And so she pictures that thought on a coffee mug. And she pictures herself taking a little sip from the mug when she has that thought.

So I have a client who likes to picture animal from the Muppets banging his drum set and yelling his thought, which is everyone will judge you. And I have another client who her thought is, you're going to let everyone down. And so she pictures that thought on a coffee mug. And she pictures herself taking a little sip from the mug when she has that thought.

So I have a client who likes to picture animal from the Muppets banging his drum set and yelling his thought, which is everyone will judge you. And I have another client who her thought is, you're going to let everyone down. And so she pictures that thought on a coffee mug. And she pictures herself taking a little sip from the mug when she has that thought.

And again, it's to emphasize that this is not truth. These are not facts. These are products of our own brain. They're just thoughts.