Elna Baker

My friend Michelle Buteau is one of the most audacious, ballsy people I know, and she brings this attitude into all aspects of her life, including relationships. This is a story about her and her boyfriend. It starts in the 90s, when she was 18, going to college, living in Miami.

My friend Michelle Buteau is one of the most audacious, ballsy people I know, and she brings this attitude into all aspects of her life, including relationships. This is a story about her and her boyfriend. It starts in the 90s, when she was 18, going to college, living in Miami.

And, as college students do, she adopted a new, cool persona for herself, one that wore dark lipstick, cargo pants, and danced in reggae clubs every weekend.

And, as college students do, she adopted a new, cool persona for herself, one that wore dark lipstick, cargo pants, and danced in reggae clubs every weekend.

Like in any good first encounter, there were magical coincidences.

Like in any good first encounter, there were magical coincidences.

Was that a moment where you're like, this is fate. I mean, not only did I go to this club.

Was that a moment where you're like, this is fate. I mean, not only did I go to this club.

He was 18 too, but he seemed really grown up.

He was 18 too, but he seemed really grown up.

In case you're thinking, drug dealer? Red flag. He was barely a drug dealer. He dealt weed. Nearly every woman I know has dated a weed dealer. They quickly got serious, and he was Michelle's first big relationship. He was funny, smart, they had good banter, and he was this incredibly accepting person.

In case you're thinking, drug dealer? Red flag. He was barely a drug dealer. He dealt weed. Nearly every woman I know has dated a weed dealer. They quickly got serious, and he was Michelle's first big relationship. He was funny, smart, they had good banter, and he was this incredibly accepting person.

Made her feel comfortable, confident about her body and about sex, which she'd never really felt before. She imagined a real future with him.

Made her feel comfortable, confident about her body and about sex, which she'd never really felt before. She imagined a real future with him.

Yeah, the American dream. Fast forward three years into the relationship. Their lives are totally entwined. Their families are close. They vacation together. It was that point of no return place in a relationship where you're just like, here it is. This is it. But there was this one thing that seemed sort of off. A lack of photographic evidence. No pictures of himself as a kid.

Yeah, the American dream. Fast forward three years into the relationship. Their lives are totally entwined. Their families are close. They vacation together. It was that point of no return place in a relationship where you're just like, here it is. This is it. But there was this one thing that seemed sort of off. A lack of photographic evidence. No pictures of himself as a kid.

Specifically, no school pictures. No prom picture. Even his mom didn't have any shots of him. It was just weird. And then one night.

Specifically, no school pictures. No prom picture. Even his mom didn't have any shots of him. It was just weird. And then one night.

Their entire relationship flashed before her eyes. One moment after another. Suddenly, it all made sense.

Their entire relationship flashed before her eyes. One moment after another. Suddenly, it all made sense.