Emi Nietfeld

And I was sent for medication. I took Adderall. I took Ritalin. I took Prozac, Zoloft, antidepressants, antipsychotics, a dozen drugs in two years. And it only got worse from there. I spent nine months in residential treatment when I was 14. I spent time in foster care. I got out of foster care, went to boarding school, but spent time homeless.

My relationship with my mom just kind of got worse and worse. Because... I, you know, it was like, okay, well, why did I spend that year in foster care? And she was really like, you were troubled. Like you had to get your angries out on another family. You were too much for me to deal with. And there was, I was ready to take 90% of the blame, but I couldn't take 100% of it.

My relationship with my mom just kind of got worse and worse. Because... I, you know, it was like, okay, well, why did I spend that year in foster care? And she was really like, you were troubled. Like you had to get your angries out on another family. You were too much for me to deal with. And there was, I was ready to take 90% of the blame, but I couldn't take 100% of it.

My relationship with my mom just kind of got worse and worse. Because... I, you know, it was like, okay, well, why did I spend that year in foster care? And she was really like, you were troubled. Like you had to get your angries out on another family. You were too much for me to deal with. And there was, I was ready to take 90% of the blame, but I couldn't take 100% of it.

And this especially came to a head when it came to the way that my mom had handled my sexual assault when I was 17. And in the aftermath, my mom sent me this email where it was like, you know, you shouldn't have been drinking. You should have said no loudly and clearly. Just all these things that I should have done differently happened. I was really, really struggling with PTSD.

And this especially came to a head when it came to the way that my mom had handled my sexual assault when I was 17. And in the aftermath, my mom sent me this email where it was like, you know, you shouldn't have been drinking. You should have said no loudly and clearly. Just all these things that I should have done differently happened. I was really, really struggling with PTSD.

And this especially came to a head when it came to the way that my mom had handled my sexual assault when I was 17. And in the aftermath, my mom sent me this email where it was like, you know, you shouldn't have been drinking. You should have said no loudly and clearly. Just all these things that I should have done differently happened. I was really, really struggling with PTSD.

I was having an impossible time, like letting go of my own self-blame. But this whole time, everybody just assumed that I should have a close relationship with my mom. And it was never even a question of could I cut ties with my mom? Could I distance myself from my mom? It just was something that I had to do and was expected of me.

I was having an impossible time, like letting go of my own self-blame. But this whole time, everybody just assumed that I should have a close relationship with my mom. And it was never even a question of could I cut ties with my mom? Could I distance myself from my mom? It just was something that I had to do and was expected of me.

I was having an impossible time, like letting go of my own self-blame. But this whole time, everybody just assumed that I should have a close relationship with my mom. And it was never even a question of could I cut ties with my mom? Could I distance myself from my mom? It just was something that I had to do and was expected of me.

And I started to realize, okay, I'm blaming myself thinking the very same things that my mom told me. And my mom clung to that. Like, she would not change her views. She would not let me off the hook. And I eventually was like, I'm not going to be able to get better if I'm still in contact with her.

And I started to realize, okay, I'm blaming myself thinking the very same things that my mom told me. And my mom clung to that. Like, she would not change her views. She would not let me off the hook. And I eventually was like, I'm not going to be able to get better if I'm still in contact with her.

And I started to realize, okay, I'm blaming myself thinking the very same things that my mom told me. And my mom clung to that. Like, she would not change her views. She would not let me off the hook. And I eventually was like, I'm not going to be able to get better if I'm still in contact with her.

When I called my mom, I really did not want to believe that that was the conversation that was going to end our relationship. But, you know, and I confronted her about it. I was like, I really am struggling with how you are dealing with this assault. And she was like, what could I tell you that would make you believe that I don't think it's your fault?

When I called my mom, I really did not want to believe that that was the conversation that was going to end our relationship. But, you know, and I confronted her about it. I was like, I really am struggling with how you are dealing with this assault. And she was like, what could I tell you that would make you believe that I don't think it's your fault?

When I called my mom, I really did not want to believe that that was the conversation that was going to end our relationship. But, you know, and I confronted her about it. I was like, I really am struggling with how you are dealing with this assault. And she was like, what could I tell you that would make you believe that I don't think it's your fault?

And I told her, I was like, you could say it's not your fault. But she actually would not say it. It was just silence. And I was like, wow, I really feel like I have to do this. And this is the right decision for me. It was so hard to hang up the phone. I just said, I love you again and again, knowing that that might be the last time that I said, I love you to my mom.

And I told her, I was like, you could say it's not your fault. But she actually would not say it. It was just silence. And I was like, wow, I really feel like I have to do this. And this is the right decision for me. It was so hard to hang up the phone. I just said, I love you again and again, knowing that that might be the last time that I said, I love you to my mom.

And I told her, I was like, you could say it's not your fault. But she actually would not say it. It was just silence. And I was like, wow, I really feel like I have to do this. And this is the right decision for me. It was so hard to hang up the phone. I just said, I love you again and again, knowing that that might be the last time that I said, I love you to my mom.

And then when I hung up, I felt so much relief.