Emily Jashinsky
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Appearances Over Time
Podcast Appearances
I played the clarinet in high school, okay?
I just don't like them.
Donald Trump is an old fashioned 80s movie style bully taking your lunch money and if you give it to him once, he'll take it again.
Two things he loves lunch and money.
He will take that peanut butter and jelly sandwich your mom cut in half like a triangle for you.
He will gobble it up in front of your face.
And then he'll eat your little Ziploc bag of Oreos, too.
And he'll take the note your mother put in your lunchbox and he'll read it aloud to everyone.
Oh, look, Mommy loves her little boy.
And then he'll smile with a bunch of cookies in his teeth.
And he'll grab you by your nipples and he'll twist them until you have two holes in your La Tigra shirt because...
Your parents couldn't afford an IZOD.
And they'll stuff you in a locker and they'll stomp on your trapper keeper and slam the door.
That is Donald Trump.
And the framing in the clip that we just watched is him saying, people want me off of the air because I make jokes about Donald Trump.
That is not true.
Literally nobody wants him off of the air because he makes jokes about Donald Trump.
You know who actually makes a lot of jokes about Donald Trump?
Donald Trump.
Even people close to Donald Trump make jokes about Donald Trump that he will occasionally clearly be amused by.