Esther Falick

Here's where it's going to start to go a little woo.

Okay, so July of 2022, a year and a half into my transition, basically, my dad passes away.

He has a fall and no one's home.

He'd been sick for a very long time.

So it wasn't a surprise that he was going to die soon.

We just didn't know it was going to be...

that night and so I go home I'm there for two weeks it's really difficult I'm grieving my dad basically what the relationship with my dad was now was he had done this 180 and he was like I'm ready to support you but for me I was still adjusting to all the changes in my new life and also still hurt so I was like I see that you want a relationship I need a minute and I'm gonna process it some more and then like

I'll come back to you soon.

And I knew that like when I wanted to have that relationship, it was going to be good.

And it was like in that period of me processing that he passed away.

Which felt so unfair.

So I go home for the funeral, feeling that injustice, like feeling so upset about that, that we didn't get to have those last conversations, you know?

I actually didn't.

Good.

I didn't feel guilt because I was like, my dad understood the time I was taking.

He wouldn't have wanted me to preemptively rush my feelings.

I had to live my truth.

So I don't feel guilt about that.

Good.

I just feel angry at the universe about it.