Esther Perel

It's not even dating.

Like we think it's a love issue and a dating issue.

But really what you're bringing it back to is saying, well, that's just a social issue.

We're just bad at connecting with people in general.

And we started talking about Zoom and FaceTime and the lack of eye contact.

And these sound like obvious things, but it's become so normalized to look at someone through a screen.

that it's so easy to forget that this is what we did.

And this is what we did.

Yeah, yeah.

Touch.

Yeah, so it's interesting how quickly the new norm becomes normalized and how we forget that looking at someone in the eyes is different to looking at someone through a screen.

And how for many people who grew up looking at people through a screen, they'll never even know what this was in advance.

And so I think there's lots to, and for me, the big revelation that came out of that conversation was just how people are so scared of their life being broadcast to other people and your point of constantly being under surveillance.

How can you be vulnerable if you're constantly under surveillance?

How can you be authentic if you're constantly under surveillance?

The point of love was to be enjoying someone's company in the privacy of your home or in the privacy and the comfort of being a confidant of someone.

That's what love is.

Love isn't performative and

uh on a stage but that's what it feels like now that love is on a stage of the person and their friends the person and their family and that that feels exploitative and it feels like how can you ever so i i i think a big part of is also the worry for people to miss out on connection that comes from that so anyway so many things i mean i'm sure when i listen to the episode again a million other things but i'm grateful for you always opening up new visions and new spaces so thank you

Thank you.