Fi (former assistant/guest)

can you just can you say it i mean i don't want to be like fee was a fan of mine i was a fan i was a fan i dm'd mari back during covid time what was it 2020 2021 beginning of 2021 february 2021 yeah and long story short her and greg had moved to la i asked to be their assistant she was like no thank you i

Don't make me sound rude.

No, she was like, I actually don't need an assistant, but I appreciate it, whatever.

And I was like, well, let me just send you my resume.

And I did.

And she was so impressed.

Was blown away.

And then I had a call with her and Greg and told them my whole life story.

They claim I probably did.

And yeah, I had a couple more calls, started part time with them and then grew into full time.

And then, yeah, the rest is kind of history.

We were together for like three and a half years.

I have a boyfriend now.

I can officially say that.

No, I'm going to say it.

But yeah, so I have a new boyfriend.

He's awesome.

We are doing long distance for now.

I haven't met him yet, guys.

Yeah, he's the best.

I had been in a long-term relationship that was not healthy, was not good for me.

But it was like all I knew.

Yeah.

And it's scary to leave something that you kind of had going a certain way in your mind.

And, you know...

I thought I was going to marry that guy.

Thank goodness that all didn't work out.

And I just want to say that next step or the step to the scary spot that you don't want to take is so worth taking.

Because I was thinking about the other day and I was like, if I hadn't left that, I would have never met this guy.

And it like made me so sad immediately because I'm so happy I met him.

Yeah.

And I'm like if I had allowed myself to stay in that like toxic not good relationship I would have never had the probably would have never connected with this guy.

A man or anyone you date shouldn't, you know, dictate your self-worth or anything like that.

But I also think being with someone that is, I don't want to say, like, loving you correctly, but, like, truly, like, is, like, giving you admiration and showing you affection and saying nice things to you about yourself.

Like, it's nice to hear that stuff.

And then vice versa when you're in a relationship that's, like, not giving you that at all.

If anything, it's, like, bringing you down.

Yeah.

it really does a number on your self-confidence.

Yeah, I feel very different.

Like I'm just in a much happier place with myself, with my relationships.

Yeah.

No, I literally saw It Ends With Us, which is so funny because that movie was so dramatic with all the drama with Justin Baldoni.

Who even knows what's going on with that?

But I will thank them because it was like a little reality check for me.

And I was like, that man is not going to be my husband or the father of my children.

So I should probably...

yeah cut it off and from what i've heard and seen have you said he's like a baseball coach i think i've said he's in baseball yeah so the new guy i'm dating is a baseball coach um yeah which i think is really cool it's like very different i really admire how like committed he is to it um and i met him through one of my best friends from college her husband plays major league baseball and they played in the minor leagues together yeah um and so last christmas i was like back home and they

told me about him and it's funny guys Mari always said well she was saying this when I was in a relationship too which is probably not good but she was always like you need to meet a guy from Texas now that we live in Texas and she's like and maybe not even in Austin like I bet they're in Dallas or like whatever she always said that and I was like Mari how the heck am I gonna meet someone in Dallas but this guy is originally from Fort Worth which is right next to Dallas next to Dallas but that's where he's from and like that's where he is in the off season so

When we got introduced, he was still in Texas during that time.

So he came into Austin and took me out.

And then I visited him in Florida.

i feel like you've always been like you're such a wag i do love it like i'm obsessed i go to like a bunch of things when i visit i go to all the games i'm like yeah you just look cute you're like oh my god i have my cute little outfits yeah but yeah it's that's like i think that's so cool it's added like a whole nother like element to my life which is fun

going off into a little bit of a side topic but he like got me we started golfing together and he would take me to the range you guys have probably if you follow me on instagram you've seen i'm like obsessed now and fee's taken me twice i've taken mari and greg and greg yeah we've we've gone on a couple of different uh golf range outings but it's a really fun activity yeah it's like you're outside you're enjoying the weather like it's exercise but it's not like you know

So intense.

And I love it.

Like it's great networking.

I've literally already met so many people through it.

It's great for like real estate networking.

I've come to know.

And like the biggest takeaway from that for me was like I always was interested in golf.

funny enough like I always worked at golf courses growing up I worked the masters in college like I always loved golf culture yeah but I was not good and I never like had anyone kind of take any interest at all to show me how to golf and some of my ex-boyfriends were very good golfers but like whenever I would try to go on there like go on the car like you know go on whatever go with them to play they would be like you can sit in the cart like you suck you're not fun to play with and

i'd be like well i'm never gonna be fun if you ever don't like take a minute to teach me and oh my god i almost just said his name which is fine but my new boyfriend i don't want to like have you not tagged him or anything no i haven't you put him on your story yeah how many responses did you get i posted him in my dump but i did not tag him yet um a lot no way well you know what though because it wasn't like so obvious like a lot of people were like hmm

is this the man like is this a new man i had many girls like his hand on your hip i see that because it does look like just the kind of like he could be my cousin i don't know um he's putting that cousin like that in his story but uh but he took an interest and like he took me to the range and like gave me a little bit and like he is very much a coach i will say like through and through i mean he's not a golf coach but he's a

We were at the range for like an hour and he was like, you're actually like, he's like, you like could be good.

He's like, if you actually put some time into it and he helped me find clubs, like I ordered everything and I've been going to like, that was a couple months ago and I've been going to the range like two, three times a week ever since then.

I've played him and I played when I was back there a couple weeks ago.

um and yeah and he's just like it's so nice just to be with someone who like yeah motivates you and like helps you and he showed me like a little video of him like teaching her and he said something really cute i don't know could you just tell that he's like really sweet yeah yeah i yeah i put i posted a tiktok yesterday it was to that taylor swift um oh my god

it's some trend like uh you seem happier no different one not the one screaming at your dog okay that was a good one um there's one that's like the i saw xandra posted it's like you seem happier and then you say like why yeah and i literally posted it it was like me laying in my bed and i was like you seem happier i was like yeah because i'm dating someone who actually likes me now because your boyfriend should not hate you

and i didn't know that no one advice of the day no one told me your boyfriend should not your boyfriend shouldn't hate you or resent you i'm so glad you finally realized that yeah so being with someone that actually is nice to me and like likes me and like tells me that he misses me so sweet refreshing yeah so but like what you deserve and it's like

um so he cannot travel during season yeah i'm pretty sure you go to him yeah so i've been going to him um which i don't mind like we've worked out a little system it works good works well and yeah but he'll be done beginning of september and so then he'll come back to texas off season so i'm hoping like he'll probably bounce between austin and fort worth

Just, yeah, stay here and like do something casual.

And if like family want to come in, I don't think I'm hosting.

Well, I was going to say if there was, if you did host for one, I would host for Thanksgiving.

Yeah.

Yes.

You'll be pregnant still, but like you.

That's true.

Yeah.

And the baby's head's down there?

Yes.

I have a question.

When you're pregnant, like through the nine months, the baby's like flipping and moving and stuff.

It's just at the end that the baby's like head down or like should be head down by then.

Oh, my gosh.

They get out of no context.

Mari goes, I saw his pee-pee.

I'm like...

Who?

Greg?

I was like, I hope so.

It's so bizarre.

Save that for when your child's grown and your mom's like.

It was so small and tiny.

Yeah, he's going to be like, stop.

It's just so weird that I just still can't get over that it's a boy.

Yeah, that is.

I just can't.

The fact that we grow babies blows my mind.

He's got a big belly.

I love when babies have big bellies.

You know when they have their, after they're milky and they're just like.

Are you happy you can, like, say it's a boy now?

Yeah.

It actually still, like, I'm like, oh, yeah, I can say it's a boy.

I knew Mari found out.

Yeah.

And so I was nearby her house.

This was a while ago.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

This was, like, I don't even know.

Months ago, yeah.

She, I forget why.

Maybe we were texting or something.

I don't know.

I knew you knew at that point.

Yeah.

Oh, because you, yes, you and Greg had done your reveal already together.

Private reveal.

And so I knew she knew.

And I was like nearby doing, I think I was doing like a showing or something in the neighborhood.

And so I popped by and I was just like chatting it up with her.

And she was like, he.

And I was like, and she's like, I knew you were here to get that.

We've been talking for like 30 minutes though and she didn't tell me.

She didn't say it.

She's like, I want it to be a surprise.

I want to get your reaction.

And then she accidentally said he.

No, I was so sad.

Really?

Yeah.

I feel like I, I mean, I knew.

Yeah.

I feel like, I don't know, like the blue jay thing you said and just.

Everyone keeps saying that.

And also just the fact that before you even got pregnant, you were so certain you were like gonna have a girl.

I feel like that's just like how it works.

So certain.

You guys, like, little baby clothes.

fuzzy oh for the winter time like he's gonna be cold in the stroller yeah craig was like he's gonna throw up all over and i was like yeah he's gonna shit on it shit on it he's gonna but he's gonna flex on him with his montclair he's like period oh my god speaking of throwing up like my friend's baby that i hang out with all the time now taylor's baby oh my god yes taylor she spits up on like i stay being spit up on because i love like giving her the bottle and then like playing with her and taylor's like she's gonna throw up on you i'm like holding her i'm like no she's not like literally like

That's interesting.

Is that nuts?

So, I mean, in a way, like, I get that because they want it to be as similar as they can.

Like, if you're breastfeeding and the mother's, you know, consuming seed oils, that would be in that too.

There's so many weird like baby things.

I was telling Mari this.

You can't give a baby water till they're like six months, maybe even like six months or something.

But like their formulas like powder and water.

Made with water.

Make it make sense.

Yes.

I know, this is a PSA, and it is... PSA!

Pussy PSA!

Pussy PSA!

Literally, this is a pussy PSA.

Oh my god, I don't even know where to start with this.

And, okay.

This is like a health wellness show, so like, we're gonna be, you know, if...

The female anatomy makes you uncomfortable.

If intimacy makes you uncomfortable.

Skip this section.

Skip this section.

Exactly.

Everyone's probably so curious right now.

This is crazy.

Okay.

Little anatomy.

Women have glands down there near your cooch called Bartholin glands.

Bartholin glands.

They are what secrete...

Liquid to moisten the area.

I don't know why I used that word.

Lubricate the area.

Wait, what is the liquid?

It's like wetness.

I don't know.

Yeah, but like... I don't know, okay?

Wetness.

I haven't gotten that far.

Okay, well, we're not scientists, so... Mucus.

Mucus.

I was saying moist.

I'm like, I said moist.

Mucus.

Okay, whatever.

It is like these glands down there that when you are intimate with someone, it secretes

Mucus.

Mucus.

To keep the air... You know.

Yeah.

Okay.

We know what I'm talking about.

Yeah.

And sometimes those glands can get backed up or like the...

I don't even quite understand, but they can get... The glands can get clogged, basically.

And you can develop a cyst.

So, Bartholin... I don't know if it's Bartholin or Bartholin, whatever.

Bartholin cysts.

You can get cysts down there.

And I've had one, actually, like, a couple years ago when I lived in LA.

And I felt like it was from... And this is the thing.

You can get it from, like, spinning.

And I spin.

I cycle.

Because it's like...

A lot of pressure.

You're like rubbing the seat and you're standing up and you're sitting down.

Yeah, and you're sweaty and you're in tight pants.

And it's just known to like aggravate that area.

So I got one when I lived in LA a couple years ago and went to the gyno.

He like...

drained it with a syringe or whatever and that was that and it went away and it was all fine and dandy and since then like I kind of noticed it here and there but nothing like debilitating like I was fine or if anything I would like take a bath and it would go away like nothing ever really got crazy until

A few weeks ago, I had just left seeing my boyfriend for the week.

And like I said, we do long distance, so we don't see each other for like six weeks.

And then we're together for like a week.

So, you know.

Do what you will with that information.

Yeah.

We were, you know, having a great time together.

And I noticed after I was leaving that, like, I kind of had, like, a cyst forming down there.

And I was like, okay, that's weird.

It didn't hurt or anything at this time.

So I was like... And you used a new product.

Okay, yes.

I did introduce a... I'm not going to name any names.

But there is a coconut oil-based lube product.

brand um that that like says it's like a clean like all natural if you listen to other podcasts you've probably heard of it yeah you've probably heard of it like technically it's like a clean ingredient one because it's coconut oil and all stuff but coconut oil is very pore clogging you guys like yeah that's like people you can't use it on your face if you have acne like and so

Again, I'm not saying this is what caused it, but that is the only thing that was introduced in the last couple months that could have affected it.

I would say it had a large impact.

Whatever.

I think I also, another TMI, I get sugared.

down there instead it's not like waxing it's sugaring which like i also read that excessive grooming down there can like can aggravate the skin and stuff so like it could have been a combination of things but so i leave i get back home to austin and i kind of notice it's getting bigger and like it hurts like it starts to hurt like a zit size no like a golf ball

Period.

But, like, a large grape.

Like, under the skin?

Yes.

In my labia.

Insane.

Like, it's, like, in the side.

Actually, it's not even there.

It's, like, down lower because the glands are kind of at the bottom of your vagina.

And, yeah, like, started to get bigger.

And it was probably the size of, like, a grape.

And, like, you feel that, like, ow.

And it started to ache, like, really bad.

So...

Actually, at this point, it hadn't hurt that bad.

So I make an emergency appointment with my gyno.

I go in.

She checks me out.

She's like, yep, it's a, you know, Bartholomew cyst.

She's like, we can't.

She's like, it's actually not that bad that I can, like, do anything about it today.

She was like, I've seen ones the size of grapefruits or baseballs.

I go...

how i'm like this yeah yeah some people have like so this is the thing they're like chronic whatever so she was just like it's not severe enough she was like it's not um impressive enough okay i was like you're like sorry take it yeah i was like sorry my cooch is not

Impressive to you.

But so she gives me an antibiotic and is like, you know, do sitz baths where you just like sit in like warm water to like kind of with like Epsom salt.

Yeah.

So I take the antibiotics.

I do that.

This shit just gets worse.

Like within a couple days, I am like in excruciating pain.

And I now have one on the other side that has formed as well.

Wait, I didn't know that.

Yes, I had both sides.

My coochie did not look like my coochie.

It was so traumatizing.

Could you see it?

yeah no with a mirror just like everything down there was just not how it's supposed to look oh god it was swollen i could not walk i could not walk yeah we had plans to work out no i literally i'm gonna have to sit i couldn't walk i couldn't stand up like this sounds it's so so tmi you guys but like the pressure that was down there yeah because they want to pop jeez no it was so much it

Later that week, I'm calling the gyno.

I'm like, they're like, we have no appointments and we're closed on the weekends.

I'm like, this is like one of the most painful things.

Probably the most painful thing I've ever experienced in my life.

So that weekend I was bedridden.

I quite literally stayed in bed the entire weekend.

I just took baths and stayed in bed and took ibuprofen.

Oh my God, like walking my dog.

I was crying.

I was literally crying.

It hurt so bad.

So finally, Monday morning, I text one of my friends and I'm like, can you take me to the emergency room?

Well, I tried to go to the gyno.

They're like, we still don't have any openings.

And I'm like, I'm done.

they're so booked it's crazy i get it because like a lot of them see pregnant people yeah which like they have certain timelines like i totally get it but i was like f this but then i'm reading on reddit and like all online about going to the er with these cysts and they're like they are not sensitive like they just slice that shit up whatever i was terrified i was like i feel like i should go to a professional like i mean they are professionals but i was like i feel like i should go to a vagina specialist yeah a coochie doctor

and but i was in so much pain at this point i was like i'm over it i'm over it so yeah my friend drops me at the er i'm like literally there by myself i like waddle in to the front desk i'm like in tears at the front desk and i'm like checking in and the girl goes i like tell her what's going on and she's like okay you can take a seat she's like actually i couldn't even sit yeah i was gonna say could you even say i couldn't even sit like in the car oh my god so painful i felt like i had balls

I looked like I had testicles.

I'm not kidding.

Were you like sitting like this?

Mari, I was literally like, stop.

Oh, it hurts so bad.