Fletch

He was sitting all curled up.

I bawled my eyes out because one day he'll be dead.

Oh, God.

Oh, I do that.

I cried big fat tears because my favourite light pink sports bra went through the dark wash and got smearings of my partner's black cotton shirts on it.

It wasn't going to come out, so I just took out the breast inserts and chucked the whole pink bra out with dramatic effect.

Granted, period pending.

Yeah.

I had a big fat cry last night watching Justin Bieber live online at Coachella, and my husband has never made it quicker beeline to the bedroom to get out of my way.

Refer back to average man spends seven hours a year hiding in the bathroom.

Yeah, refer back.

That's a non-disclosure agreement for people not in the know, where if the information gets out that you leaked this news, you get sued for millions of dollars.

You can get sued.

Well, I don't have millions of dollars, so trust me.

Come at me.

We sign these all the time when we see movies like a month or two before they come out.

Yeah.

And I don't even read them.

I'm just like, I don't have any money.

Try it.