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Fred Luskin

👤 Person
693 total appearances

Appearances Over Time

Podcast Appearances

Hidden Brain
Relationships 2.0: Why Did You Do That? + Your Questions Answered: Fred Luskin on Grudges

Thank you. Nice to see you again.

Hidden Brain
Relationships 2.0: Why Did You Do That? + Your Questions Answered: Fred Luskin on Grudges

Thank you. Nice to see you again.

Hidden Brain
Relationships 2.0: Why Did You Do That? + Your Questions Answered: Fred Luskin on Grudges

Thank you. Nice to see you again.

Hidden Brain
Relationships 2.0: Why Did You Do That? + Your Questions Answered: Fred Luskin on Grudges

We're constantly trying to make meaning out of the world. And we have different levels of meaning making. We have like small things, you know, that this person said something unkind to me. And then we have these meta-narratives that say, You know, this isn't safe. And remember when your dad did what he did to you 20 years ago, which set you up upon a life which will not be safe.

Hidden Brain
Relationships 2.0: Why Did You Do That? + Your Questions Answered: Fred Luskin on Grudges

We're constantly trying to make meaning out of the world. And we have different levels of meaning making. We have like small things, you know, that this person said something unkind to me. And then we have these meta-narratives that say, You know, this isn't safe. And remember when your dad did what he did to you 20 years ago, which set you up upon a life which will not be safe.

Hidden Brain
Relationships 2.0: Why Did You Do That? + Your Questions Answered: Fred Luskin on Grudges

We're constantly trying to make meaning out of the world. And we have different levels of meaning making. We have like small things, you know, that this person said something unkind to me. And then we have these meta-narratives that say, You know, this isn't safe. And remember when your dad did what he did to you 20 years ago, which set you up upon a life which will not be safe.

Hidden Brain
Relationships 2.0: Why Did You Do That? + Your Questions Answered: Fred Luskin on Grudges

It makes it hard to just be with the experience and deal with the actual insult or not as it's happening or cognitively or emotionally with the best strategies.

Hidden Brain
Relationships 2.0: Why Did You Do That? + Your Questions Answered: Fred Luskin on Grudges

It makes it hard to just be with the experience and deal with the actual insult or not as it's happening or cognitively or emotionally with the best strategies.

Hidden Brain
Relationships 2.0: Why Did You Do That? + Your Questions Answered: Fred Luskin on Grudges

It makes it hard to just be with the experience and deal with the actual insult or not as it's happening or cognitively or emotionally with the best strategies.

Hidden Brain
Relationships 2.0: Why Did You Do That? + Your Questions Answered: Fred Luskin on Grudges

If you're happy, then your brain and nervous system make available to you all the other lovely things in your life so that you get to think, now, wow, the last time I was happy, I went and hugged my partner. So should I do that again?

Hidden Brain
Relationships 2.0: Why Did You Do That? + Your Questions Answered: Fred Luskin on Grudges

If you're happy, then your brain and nervous system make available to you all the other lovely things in your life so that you get to think, now, wow, the last time I was happy, I went and hugged my partner. So should I do that again?

Hidden Brain
Relationships 2.0: Why Did You Do That? + Your Questions Answered: Fred Luskin on Grudges

If you're happy, then your brain and nervous system make available to you all the other lovely things in your life so that you get to think, now, wow, the last time I was happy, I went and hugged my partner. So should I do that again?

Hidden Brain
Relationships 2.0: Why Did You Do That? + Your Questions Answered: Fred Luskin on Grudges

From the painful side, look at how brilliant it is to give you access to other times that you suffered and maybe to look through, well, were there strategies that I used that helped us? The problem is when it crowds out other memories, then you actually lose access to thinking rather than gain access and thinking. But the original kind of substrata is really smart.

Hidden Brain
Relationships 2.0: Why Did You Do That? + Your Questions Answered: Fred Luskin on Grudges

From the painful side, look at how brilliant it is to give you access to other times that you suffered and maybe to look through, well, were there strategies that I used that helped us? The problem is when it crowds out other memories, then you actually lose access to thinking rather than gain access and thinking. But the original kind of substrata is really smart.

Hidden Brain
Relationships 2.0: Why Did You Do That? + Your Questions Answered: Fred Luskin on Grudges

From the painful side, look at how brilliant it is to give you access to other times that you suffered and maybe to look through, well, were there strategies that I used that helped us? The problem is when it crowds out other memories, then you actually lose access to thinking rather than gain access and thinking. But the original kind of substrata is really smart.

Hidden Brain
Relationships 2.0: Why Did You Do That? + Your Questions Answered: Fred Luskin on Grudges

I'm going to add two things. It's not helpful. It's essential that if there is pain, difficulty, hostility, mistreatment, you have to remember it. You have to try to process it and deal with it. That's not just optional. It's like essential. The second piece, what I think you left out of the workplace is is the staggering amount of distraction that people have now.

Hidden Brain
Relationships 2.0: Why Did You Do That? + Your Questions Answered: Fred Luskin on Grudges

I'm going to add two things. It's not helpful. It's essential that if there is pain, difficulty, hostility, mistreatment, you have to remember it. You have to try to process it and deal with it. That's not just optional. It's like essential. The second piece, what I think you left out of the workplace is is the staggering amount of distraction that people have now.

Hidden Brain
Relationships 2.0: Why Did You Do That? + Your Questions Answered: Fred Luskin on Grudges

I'm going to add two things. It's not helpful. It's essential that if there is pain, difficulty, hostility, mistreatment, you have to remember it. You have to try to process it and deal with it. That's not just optional. It's like essential. The second piece, what I think you left out of the workplace is is the staggering amount of distraction that people have now.

Hidden Brain
Relationships 2.0: Why Did You Do That? + Your Questions Answered: Fred Luskin on Grudges

So not only are they in a workplace with maybe more interactions and more possible difficulties, their minds are frazzled even before they deal with anybody by emails, by texts, by relentless checking, by social media, by all of the just demands on their attention.

Hidden Brain
Relationships 2.0: Why Did You Do That? + Your Questions Answered: Fred Luskin on Grudges

So not only are they in a workplace with maybe more interactions and more possible difficulties, their minds are frazzled even before they deal with anybody by emails, by texts, by relentless checking, by social media, by all of the just demands on their attention.

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