Freya India

But I actually think sometimes the therapy language in relationships can obscure the real problem.

And so if you're constantly encouraged to communicate and talk it through and see their point of view and understand their boundaries and it's their personal taste and preference, you have a generation who's so articulate in therapy speak, but then find it very hard to see what is the actual problem and react to the actual problem.

Mm-hmm.

Well, this is what I've spoken about, about girls thinking they're anxiously attached when they're just with a really bad partner.

And again, doing that thing where they feel like they can't ever be jealous or insecure.

And so instead, they think that being...

Being securely attached is never being insecure or unhappy or reacting to things.

And I think a lot of that is because they're reading relationship advice on TikTok, which has no context and basically is as dramatic and extreme as possible and tells them that they have a problem.

No, I don't understand that.

The only thing I can think is that it becomes, again, another form of signaling you are a good person.

Yeah, and these would be the same women who've, again, grown up with believing that what counts as being a good person is what they post.

So where's the empathy for people directly in front of you?

That is what concerns me.

That's why I'm suspicious of it being... Empathy for being in a relationship with you.

Yeah, suspicious of it being actual empathy because it doesn't seem to translate to even more closer to home than the grooming gangs and the 7-7 bombings, your actual family or partner.

To the New Statesman piece?

Oh.

Well...

Dangerous, I think, is one of the sort of key themes has been that – actually, I think more from the press it's been that it's not genuine empathy, ironically.

Yeah.