Gabor Maté

Do I blame somebody for having been abused, perhaps?

Having been abused and the natural response to abuse is to ask for help, but there's no help, or to fight, but you can't fight when you're four years old, or to escape, which you can't do when you're six years old.

Do I blame somebody for being in those conditions?

I don't even blame the parents.

Because they're just doing what was done to them.

So in my world, there's no blame.

If anybody perceives it, they're projecting their own guilt onto me.

I'm not blaming them.

I'm saying is, you're not guilty for causing your illness, but you can take responsibility for healing it once you understand it.

Okay, so attachment means the sense of belonging to others.

Human beings are creatures of attachment.

I mean, the human infant is par excellence the creature of attachment.

They don't survive for one day without people looking after them.

But our attachment needs are not only physical, not only for nurturing and shelter, clothing, they're also emotional.

We're wired that way.

And actually, children whose attachment needs in the emotional sense are not met, they really suffer.

So we have this deep need to attach emotionally.

Now, if you look at my situation...

As an infant, my mother was stressed, grief-struck.

She could barely ensure survival.