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Gabriel Mizrahi

๐Ÿ‘ค Speaker
See mentions of this person in podcasts
14031 total appearances

Appearances Over Time

Podcast Appearances

The Jordan Harbinger Show
1155: Love Could Be Dandy If He'd Quit the Nose Candy | Feedback Friday

That will require you to sit with some feelings, I think probably guilt and probably sadness, that you're not showing up for this person the way that you used to, which is very normal. It might also mean sitting with the feeling that, you know, you might be mean or selfish, which to be clear, you are not.

The Jordan Harbinger Show
1155: Love Could Be Dandy If He'd Quit the Nose Candy | Feedback Friday

That will require you to sit with some feelings, I think probably guilt and probably sadness, that you're not showing up for this person the way that you used to, which is very normal. It might also mean sitting with the feeling that, you know, you might be mean or selfish, which to be clear, you are not.

The Jordan Harbinger Show
1155: Love Could Be Dandy If He'd Quit the Nose Candy | Feedback Friday

But when you define being a good friend or a good person as sacrificing yourself to save somebody over and over again, anything less than that can feel cruel. It's not, but it feels that way. And you have to be willing to sit with that feeling in order to find out that it's not really the case.

The Jordan Harbinger Show
1155: Love Could Be Dandy If He'd Quit the Nose Candy | Feedback Friday

But when you define being a good friend or a good person as sacrificing yourself to save somebody over and over again, anything less than that can feel cruel. It's not, but it feels that way. And you have to be willing to sit with that feeling in order to find out that it's not really the case.

The Jordan Harbinger Show
1155: Love Could Be Dandy If He'd Quit the Nose Candy | Feedback Friday

But when you define being a good friend or a good person as sacrificing yourself to save somebody over and over again, anything less than that can feel cruel. It's not, but it feels that way. And you have to be willing to sit with that feeling in order to find out that it's not really the case.

The Jordan Harbinger Show
1155: Love Could Be Dandy If He'd Quit the Nose Candy | Feedback Friday

But until we're willing to endure that basic distress, we'll never know what's on the other side or why it's there or whether there might be a better way to partner with your friends to help them.

The Jordan Harbinger Show
1155: Love Could Be Dandy If He'd Quit the Nose Candy | Feedback Friday

But until we're willing to endure that basic distress, we'll never know what's on the other side or why it's there or whether there might be a better way to partner with your friends to help them.

The Jordan Harbinger Show
1155: Love Could Be Dandy If He'd Quit the Nose Candy | Feedback Friday

But until we're willing to endure that basic distress, we'll never know what's on the other side or why it's there or whether there might be a better way to partner with your friends to help them.

The Jordan Harbinger Show
1155: Love Could Be Dandy If He'd Quit the Nose Candy | Feedback Friday

Yeah. I also think sometimes that when we imagine that somebody might do something really extreme, if we're not there to save them, I'm speculating a little bit, but I do have a hunch that maybe that can be a way to inflate our importance in their life. If I am so crucial to this person that if I'm not there, they are going to do this terrible thing. And they might not actually do that.

The Jordan Harbinger Show
1155: Love Could Be Dandy If He'd Quit the Nose Candy | Feedback Friday

Yeah. I also think sometimes that when we imagine that somebody might do something really extreme, if we're not there to save them, I'm speculating a little bit, but I do have a hunch that maybe that can be a way to inflate our importance in their life. If I am so crucial to this person that if I'm not there, they are going to do this terrible thing. And they might not actually do that.

The Jordan Harbinger Show
1155: Love Could Be Dandy If He'd Quit the Nose Candy | Feedback Friday

Yeah. I also think sometimes that when we imagine that somebody might do something really extreme, if we're not there to save them, I'm speculating a little bit, but I do have a hunch that maybe that can be a way to inflate our importance in their life. If I am so crucial to this person that if I'm not there, they are going to do this terrible thing. And they might not actually do that.

The Jordan Harbinger Show
1155: Love Could Be Dandy If He'd Quit the Nose Candy | Feedback Friday

They might struggle, they might hurt, but it doesn't mean that the stakes are life and death. She said that her friend goes to that place when they're in a crisis. Everything is life or death, but she's kind of doing that too.

The Jordan Harbinger Show
1155: Love Could Be Dandy If He'd Quit the Nose Candy | Feedback Friday

They might struggle, they might hurt, but it doesn't mean that the stakes are life and death. She said that her friend goes to that place when they're in a crisis. Everything is life or death, but she's kind of doing that too.

The Jordan Harbinger Show
1155: Love Could Be Dandy If He'd Quit the Nose Candy | Feedback Friday

They might struggle, they might hurt, but it doesn't mean that the stakes are life and death. She said that her friend goes to that place when they're in a crisis. Everything is life or death, but she's kind of doing that too.

The Jordan Harbinger Show
1155: Love Could Be Dandy If He'd Quit the Nose Candy | Feedback Friday

I also thought it was interesting when you said that having boundaries means leaving a friend to solve their own problems as if that's a good outcome for anyone. I would argue that it actually is a good outcome.

The Jordan Harbinger Show
1155: Love Could Be Dandy If He'd Quit the Nose Candy | Feedback Friday

I also thought it was interesting when you said that having boundaries means leaving a friend to solve their own problems as if that's a good outcome for anyone. I would argue that it actually is a good outcome.

The Jordan Harbinger Show
1155: Love Could Be Dandy If He'd Quit the Nose Candy | Feedback Friday

I also thought it was interesting when you said that having boundaries means leaving a friend to solve their own problems as if that's a good outcome for anyone. I would argue that it actually is a good outcome.

The Jordan Harbinger Show
1155: Love Could Be Dandy If He'd Quit the Nose Candy | Feedback Friday

And if it doesn't look like a good outcome, you know, if your friend completely drowns when you pull back or you suffer disproportionately, that is not a sign that the boundary is wrong, but that you guys are adapting to a new way of being and relating to each other, which I would argue is probably a healthier way and will hopefully lead your friend to taking better care of themselves.

The Jordan Harbinger Show
1155: Love Could Be Dandy If He'd Quit the Nose Candy | Feedback Friday

And if it doesn't look like a good outcome, you know, if your friend completely drowns when you pull back or you suffer disproportionately, that is not a sign that the boundary is wrong, but that you guys are adapting to a new way of being and relating to each other, which I would argue is probably a healthier way and will hopefully lead your friend to taking better care of themselves.

The Jordan Harbinger Show
1155: Love Could Be Dandy If He'd Quit the Nose Candy | Feedback Friday

And if it doesn't look like a good outcome, you know, if your friend completely drowns when you pull back or you suffer disproportionately, that is not a sign that the boundary is wrong, but that you guys are adapting to a new way of being and relating to each other, which I would argue is probably a healthier way and will hopefully lead your friend to taking better care of themselves.