Gabriel Mizrahi

I got so depressed during that time right after my first miscarriage.

that there are about nine months of my life I can barely remember.

The stress from all of this contributed to going from heavy drinker who should probably cut back to serious alcoholic pounding hard liquor every day.

My current partner, who I've been with for almost two years, convinced me to go to rehab about a year ago.

And other than a few slip-ups in the first couple of months, I've been sober since then.

After rehab, I started working with a psychiatrist and therapist to make sure my mood is stable and on self-love and self-care, both of which were pretty foreign concepts to me a year ago.

I've started practicing Buddhism since I got sober and regularly attend refuge recovery meetings, which, by the way, is an amazing alternative for people who don't like AA.

I feel like a completely different person, in a good way, but it's really shaken up my sense of self.

Yeah, I can imagine.

Now that I'm at the end of my PhD, I'm kind of blowing in the breeze.

I won't have my degree conferred until August, and I'm teaching a couple of courses over the summer, but after that, I have no idea what the hell to do.

Nobody told me I had to complete my degree this semester until a month ago, so I missed all of the academic job applications in the fall.

I'm not an American citizen, so if I can't find a job in the U.S., I'll have to move back to Canada, probably with my parents because I don't have any money.

A cautionary tale of being in university for 12 years.

I would be okay with that outcome, but my partner is American and I really don't want to be long distance.

I'm not even sure if I really want to be in academia anymore or if I want to find a job in the private sector, but I don't even know where to start.

Being in academia has been my path since I was 16, but I don't know if I'm doing it because I'm really passionate anymore or because it's just easier than thinking of something else.

I spent so long unable to get out of my head because of these dual diagnosis issues and

Now that I'm doing better than I ever have, I don't feel like I really know who I am anymore or what I want.

How do I figure that out?