Gareth

It was, yeah, there was a lot riding on it. There was a lot riding on it. So, yeah, it was massive relief. Like, overwhelming relief. I actually thought he was over. And I meant all right. Go on, you can have a laugh at me.

It was, yeah, there was a lot riding on it. There was a lot riding on it. So, yeah, it was massive relief. Like, overwhelming relief. I actually thought he was over. And I meant all right. Go on, you can have a laugh at me.

Well, no, but it wasn't finished anyway.

Well, no, but it wasn't finished anyway.

I keep coming back to that fight I had with one of the sixth formers at Finchley Carnival and he seemed so, so sure in himself.

I keep coming back to that fight I had with one of the sixth formers at Finchley Carnival and he seemed so, so sure in himself.

When he said to me, oh, she was a slag, the way he said it to me, I felt that he knew. That's why I became very upset about it because he did it with such confidence, if you like.

When he said to me, oh, she was a slag, the way he said it to me, I felt that he knew. That's why I became very upset about it because he did it with such confidence, if you like.

I said from the start that I didn't know anything and I knew this process was going to be difficult for me because... It's not nice to sit here and think I was basically like her plaything and that I was really nothing. Because like you said, I mean, whether wrong or right, I thought that I was one selected out of 900. And I know it doesn't make much difference.

I said from the start that I didn't know anything and I knew this process was going to be difficult for me because... It's not nice to sit here and think I was basically like her plaything and that I was really nothing. Because like you said, I mean, whether wrong or right, I thought that I was one selected out of 900. And I know it doesn't make much difference.

But you see, learning these things, I don't know, I guess I feel a lot more used then.

But you see, learning these things, I don't know, I guess I feel a lot more used then.

Yeah, but I don't know his name and I really don't know his name.

Yeah, but I don't know his name and I really don't know his name.

I like Chloe, how are you doing?

I like Chloe, how are you doing?

Well, whatever he says, I just wanted to express the fact that I'm in a very mixed-up place for the last two hours. To feel jealousy or to feel competitiveness with another 51-year-old man 36 years later is an extremely confusing feeling for me. And my memories are being rewritten at the age of 51 because I didn't know certain things at the time.

Well, whatever he says, I just wanted to express the fact that I'm in a very mixed-up place for the last two hours. To feel jealousy or to feel competitiveness with another 51-year-old man 36 years later is an extremely confusing feeling for me. And my memories are being rewritten at the age of 51 because I didn't know certain things at the time.

i'm slowly realizing that like um yeah i don't i don't think i actually ever loved me he's um he's a little bit he's still working me out yeah

i'm slowly realizing that like um yeah i don't i don't think i actually ever loved me he's um he's a little bit he's still working me out yeah