Gary Lineker

And I'm on the pitch like that, and I've gone, oh, my fucking God.

I'm shoveling out my shorts, and I'm doing like a dog.

You know, a dog who's wiped his arse on the grass.

And then there's a brilliant clip, because...

After I'd spoken about it, obviously they found the footage of it and it's quite obvious what's happened, if you say.

Yeah, maybe.

So there's a bit where Gary Stevens, the right back, comes up to me and he goes, you all right, Lynx?

And I went, and you can see, look at me over my shoulder and I go, I've shit myself.

Did it not show on your shorts?

Thankfully, we had dark blue ones.

Thankfully.

But I had to shuffle it out.

And the good thing was it had rained.

So I'm wiping it all on the grass.

Then after that, I thought, right, so I'll carry on playing.

I did find a little bit more space after that, funnily enough.

Nobody marked me too tightly.

Anyway, so I'm playing and then with about 10 minutes to go, Bobby Robson took me off.

And every ground in the world, right, almost every ground in the world, the dugout is by the tunnel where the dressing room was.

except for Cagliari, which is on the opposite side.