Gemma Spake

So this starts actually fairly randomly.

Most associative learning does.

But obviously, when we're young, when we're kids, we don't pick our clothes.

Our parents pick our clothes for us.

And their style is essentially our style.

My mom was born in Wisconsin.

My dad was born in Queensland.

And so when I was a kid, I was always dressed in like a mix of Oshkosh Bagosh overalls, if you know what those are, and like beachwear and t-shirts.

You know, you don't really have a choice.

But what you do start to realize and notice is when certain items get a positive reaction and when certain items don't or how certain items make you feel.

What made you feel comfortable?

What made you feel safe?

What made you feel close to your parents?

What made you fit in?

I remember there was a certain long dress I used to wear that my grandma bought me.

And the first time I wore it, like everybody in my family made such a huge fuss.

about how nice I looked in it and I would wear it all the time I would literally twirl in it I would go up to strangers to show them my great dress and they'd be like where the hell is this child's parents but that was such a learned association and it was so funny last week I was

looking for an outfit for a friend's wedding and I found a dress that looks really similar and it was like this gravitational pull like this is something that I know this is something that like I have this long ago positive association with and I ended up buying the dress for that reason alone I also remember feeling the most myself in like my Buzz Lightyear shirt I knew that was comfortable I knew I could move around I knew I could be a child in that

That was my safety blanket.

So that's how you learn.