Gemma Spake

But boxing a child into that identity so young and during such a formative time for their self-concept does psychological damage long term.

Because it delivers the expectation that you can never deviate from this identity as the star for the rest of your life.

you will have to continue to be the best like your trajectory is set you were you were a gifted child you better be a gifted adult and if you deviate that's because you messed up you've squandered your potential you didn't work hard enough

But adult life isn't the same as our lives as children or even as teenagers.

There is a much bigger playing field.

We have so many other options open to us that weren't there before.

There's a whole new set of challenges to balance.

That means that when we're exposed to people or environments or situations that are challenging or where we aren't the smartest person in the room or we aren't the most talented person in the room after being told to believe that we always would be from a young age, it can be really, really jarring.

Frustration can set in when we can't master new skills with ease.

We might believe that we're not clever anymore, that we peaked in high school.

We suffer from imposter syndrome.

There is often an entire identity collapse that comes, that I think afflicts every person who was praised for being smart, creative, the best as a child, who then as an adult, you know, is still smart, amazing and talented, but cannot operate at the same level that they could when they didn't have bills, didn't have complex relationships, didn't have global wars to worry about.

I think we may wonder where our feeling of being special will come from now.

Like now that we're out of that system, how do we set ourselves apart?

And so we set ourselves on realistically high standards to achieve something that will make us feel worthy.

And then we still don't feel satisfied when we get there.

The truth is a 2025 study found that former gifted children often struggle more than non-gifted children after graduation because their only coping mechanism is working harder and they struggle in environments where there just aren't those same clear metrics for them to achieve against and for them to feel validated by.

Like that's the truth.

That's probably what a lot of you guys are going through right now.

And the other thing that gets confusing and I kind of just mentioned it is that after high school, after university, like the idea of linear success is revealed very quickly to be a myth.