Gemma Speck

You don't think this person is capable of doing this to you, either because they claim to care about you.

They claim to love you.

They were meant to protect you.

They were an authority figure.

They were a parent.

And the nature of that relationship allowed you to let your guard down.

And that is what they saw as an opportunity to then let you down.

Someone thought in all instances of betrayal, your basic needs are less important than my wants.

Their desire to feel significant, to get what they want, to have people like them, to be entertained, any number of things, means more to them than your basic humanity and the respect that you deserve.

This points to a very critical thing about betrayal that I just have to mention as close to the beginning of this episode as possible.

the severity of the outcome of the betrayal does not matter.

No matter how large the consequence is, it doesn't matter because the damage is done.

Again, the consequences of betrayal don't need to be this big and dramatic thing for a betrayal to be harmful.

You might tell somebody a secret that

doesn't really have any earth-shattering consequences.

But it's still extremely hurtful at the same time to have it revealed and for that trust to be broken.

Everything from moments like that to massive things all rest on the same thing.

There is a loss of emotional safety that is almost impossible to come back from.

And not just with them, but with the people who remind you of them later on and the relationships that have a similar energy to them later on.

I think that's the reason we see betrayal depicted in so many great works of art, like literature and movies and poems and plays and TV.