Gemma Speck

mindset for connecting and for bonding in the same time period there's concerns about somebody's usage when they do feel like they have a problem there's resentment there's fear there's also just plain annoyance that maybe you don't want somebody to be smoking all the time or be high all the time

And they just can't seem to give it up.

And it's frustrating.

There is a lot of potential for weed to shape the way we connect with people.

In the short term, cannabis can make us more social.

And it can make social moments feel easier for some people.

By lowering tension, by lowering those impulse barriers, by making things seem funnier, by creating shared memories and a shared sense of ease.

That is the part of smoking with friends or with partners that can sometimes feel like a bonding opportunity.

Conversations feel a lot looser, laughter comes more easily, ordinary moments are more imaginative.

and enjoyable but in a long-term relationship sometimes it can feel like well why would you need that why do you need conversations to be easier shouldn't our conversations already be easy shouldn't I already make you feel safe and relaxed am I not entertaining enough like I

Maybe you need this for other people, but why would you need this for me?

I'm your person.

And you can very quickly see how insecurity is valid here and can really spark in those moments, especially if you aren't on the same page and there's not full truthfulness.

And it is a fair concern from the loved one, especially if they've had partners who've previously ignored them because of weed.

previously made them feel insecure previously rejected them usage or not they're coming into this relationship with a different need for openness and a different need to understand your motivations because being with somebody who smokes a lot of weed even when they're asked not to or being with somebody who maybe you as a weed smoker or somebody is a weed smoker and

is with somebody who isn't and they don't understand the relationship you have with it, there's a lot of room for ambiguity.

And when we have ambiguity that is not addressed, we have people come up with their own stories and people come up with their own reasons for why somebody is participating, somebody isn't.

That can create a lot of resentment and a lot of fear around the relationship being at risk.

It all comes back to this core concern of presence.

Relationships of any kind, friendships, family ties, romantic bonds, depend on attention, depend on shared memory, responsiveness, and emotional availability.