Geoff Norcott

Now, it was easier for blokes two generations ago, whether you had a pension or not.

You reached 65, retired, walked the dog for a week, then died of a massive heart attack.

Once upon a time, retirement was the point where men's happiness curves started to once again move in the right direction.

But that curve is now bending out of reach.

I did my pension sums in preparation for this episode, and having looked at all the figures genuinely, I'll be able to stop doing comedy in the year 2057, when I'll be 78.

Probably be on a cruise ship by then, but by then the world will be carved into three superpowers, and our ocean liners won't be able to go beyond the English Channel, which will have been renamed the Gulf of Donald.

The Valhalla.

The Valhalla of retirement is becoming a more distant sunset for most men.

But let's not forget what that means for people who actually do manual work.

I'm not sure this government has factored in how a plumber starting work today is supposed to still do his job at 68.

It's hard to imagine the older men in my family wriggling around an attic when most of them take four minutes to get out of a chair.

For most men, the economic situation seems unlikely to change dramatically, so what else could they do to be less angry?

For men, being married is also pretty important.

Not only are married men happier, they live longer.

For women, I'm afraid there's no extra life for you.

The main benefit is if you wake up in a bad mood, there's someone to blame.

But interestingly, married women, and particularly mothers, are more likely to report that their life felt more worthwhile than men's.

It's a bit deep.

So, another manly hypothetical.

This is my favourite one.