Glitzy

Isn't it like the biggest casino in all of Avantra?

Okay, perfect. So I'll just... Okay, so I have a full round.

I just think that it's meaningfully important, you know?

4!

Wait, so you're telling me that you used A-Owl to deliver a message on the back of the map we used for the last heist?

From the next saving throw.

I'm going to, actually, I'll just move.

and I'm going to cast Agnazar's Scorcher.

I'm only gonna hit those two, but it's 30 feet in front of me. These guys? Oh, okay. Yeah. Railgun style? Yeah, I'm just gonna be like, I'm just gonna move over. I just really wanted to light something on fire. I'm just gonna cast it. And they have to make a dexterity saving throw.

You know what? I am going to re-roll some of these dice because I am a sorcerer and I can do that.

I am a sorcerer what uses metamagic. So I am going to cast use empowered spell and I'm going to, um, perfect. That's better.

Huh? Oh, I did not. Are they actually dead?

Did that flip him over?

Oh my god, fey palm! Oh, Mike, that's brilliant.

That's showing up in our coming campaign, right? Oh, 100%. Obviously.

It ain't me starts playing. Well, shit, that sucks. So I rolled a three, so I did trigger my stuff, but it doesn't really affect this, so.

End of your turn, Knuckles, you're up.

No, I think we're probably fine.

I'm immune to being intoxicated by alcohol for 18 days. You're immune to alcohol for 16?

You're going to notice that nothing in your life changes.

What are you talking about? We had to frame it on somebody.

That was from the museum we went to.

And if we can somehow figure out a way to make it seem like they died doing the heist, then I think it all works out.

No, but I kind of thought if we could find a way to get all of this gold out of here, then as we're leaving, I could just open up the bottle and leave the beholder in here with them, and, well, that'll be somebody else's problem.

Then it will look like the Beholder was behind it the entire time.

Yeah, but why are they going to believe him when the Beholder's stuck in there in their dead bodies?

12.

Okay, so here's another idea. For an hour, the beholder's going to be my best friend. So, what we could do is we tell that beholder to just stay out in the other room and to let everyone know that there were eight elves there. that came into, he chased them down, cause he caught them in the other room.

He chased them down to here, but they locked themselves inside of the safe and they're in there doing whatever with the money. And then when they come, when they finally break into the vault, there will be four dead elves and all the money gone. So it would look like the others got away. I don't hate this plan. The only problem, I have no idea how we're going to get all the gold out of here.

Not really, no.

I mean, I can cast fairy fire, because I'm a fairy.

Well, he'll be my friend for an hour, so I don't think that joke would offend him.

Well, it's based on the way your writing looks. I think you wrote it with your glasses off.

I thought you originally said it was between half a million to a million. Now it's half a million to five million?

We're not talking about money at the tournament, boss.

Was Jeremork that guy we had to meet up with after the last hunt?

I squeezed him for all he was worth, too.

No, not really. You can tell he doesn't eat much pineapple.

I don't know, one million pounds? About a million ounces.

No, I don't boss. I'm not even sure what the conversion rate is.

I don't think I've ever seen an electric piece, to be honest.

Okay, so you're saying with this heist, not only do we have to get the money out, which is about 20,000 pounds worth of money.

Times five.

Okay, that's a lot. What's 20 times five?

A hundred, I think. 100,000 pounds worth of gold pieces.

No, I'm not done asking my question. So we have to get 100,000 pounds worth of gold pieces out of this casino within potentially two hours of going in. And we have to, what was the other thing we had to do?

Oh, we have to let them think that they caught whoever actually did it because... Yeah, we need to pass these. Oh, shit.

Oh, wow. I've never had food from a rainforest cafe before.

The streets are packed. The exterior of this casino glows with bright lights.

You can see owls flying in all directions. There's a man with suspenders over his shoulders holding up a big tray.

You bet on the mighty Trump?

So what are we going to do about this heist, though?

Because that's happening in like 10 minutes.

Oh, you know what I was thinking? And I don't want to step on your toes at all, boss, because you are the mastermind.

But I was thinking it might be a good idea to have a different name for what we're planning on doing tonight. And since we're in a casino, I was thinking we could maybe make it game related, like we could call it Plinko or something.

Oh, we could be the Bunko buddies.

Yeah, Bunko's this game where you don't have to have any skill at all or whatever. You just randomly roll dice and whoever gets the highest roll purely by chance wins. It's an excuse to drink a lot of wine and talk a lot of shit about your friends.

I don't know. I really like that suggestion, boss. I think we should vote on it.

I don't think we should all be at the same place, you know. I think we should really spread ourselves out until it's time to meet up. So maybe I'll pick somewhere else, boss.

What are the other ones?

You know, I'm really feeling a little hustle.

Oh, I don't know the rules.

Oh, I have not, but I'll do it. I really need a glass of milk though.

No. Can you make it lukewarm, like room temperature?

Yeah, I'm gonna need that before I can roll these dice.

Also, do you have dice that are smaller? These each one fills my entire hand.

Oh, great. Thanks. Do you have a smaller straw? I don't think that one will fit in my mouth. That's human-sized.

That's really great. If I put that in my drink, though, it's going to sink all the way down to the bottom. It's much shorter than the other straw.

Because I've said I won't roll my dice until. You know what my favorite thing to do is, random lady sitting next to me, what was your name?

Darlene, you know what my favorite thing to do is?

Blow up people who are frustrated.

I like you, Darlene. You seem like you... How old are you?

I don't know, 74? I'm 33.

You don't look a day younger than 74. Are you seeing anyone currently, Darlene?

Her left eye blinks a little slower than the right eye.

Are you seeing anyone currently?

We're gonna play the game now. I think we found our Patsy. I think we found our Patsy.

So I don't roll my d6.

Right, and I add those. And then I keep rolling my d4 as I see fit.

Well, I rolled two ones. Amazing. So I'm gonna roll my d4.

Great, I'd like to play again.

I'm going to need another glass of milk, though I finished this one.

I don't like this glass. I really preferred the other one.

But we don't have long, thin straws tall enough.

i'm i refuse to roll again until i get my gun no i'm just kidding would you like to buy a pocket watch or a grenade gino roll a 3d6 for me the most i'm very skilled at this you know see this is the one you have to worry about the most not me

Another old-fashioned?

And your third old-fashioned, sir.

There should be. The dice poker would be a really genius game. That's for round one.

And muffalette.

What's the plan, boss?

You weren't kidding about your descriptions tonight.

Yeah, but to be fair, we are just right upstairs from the deli, so all you have to do is walk downstairs, grab some galamar, and then come back upstairs. It would take, like, two minutes.

I think I did all right.

Well, the store's closed, Box. You can go downstairs in your bathrobe.

Should one of us cut it off and wave it around our neck as a token of a trinket?

Well, if you really wanted some good luck, you could squeeze the life out of me and create pixie slop.

My blood is filled with magic.

No, that's just what I call it.

Oh, it's dinner time. Are you closed? I hope he's closed because there's no one downstairs running the deli, that's for sure.

Because it kind of looks like spaghetti paste or whatever.

Except it's purple.

What the fuck?

I am going to quickly change behind like a something, like a chair.

I'm only nine inches tall, if you remember. I forgot about that.

So, like, I just go behind that and change really quickly. And I change into, like, one of the sexy cocktail waitresses. Amazing.

And so, like, I just kind of fly around with a little tray and a couple of very small drinks.

Boss, it's me. It's Glissy. Oh, Glissy, that's you? Yeah, do you like my outfit?

I clean up nice, don't I?

No, I couldn't carry your drink on my tray. I'm only nine inches tall.

Oh, I wonder who scored.

I'm sure it was, and it was probably the people they were against.

I watched one of their interviews and yeah, you think we're bad.

Did you give us roles for what we're supposed to do?

Well, this was supposed to so that nobody thought twice about me being in here. But, I mean, if you just want me to serve drinks all night, I guess I could do that.

Am I waiting for some ducks?

Alright, so now that Geno's gone, we should actually make a plan. It would be nice to have one this time. And probably not tell him about it, because he'll just confuse it with a different plan. That might be for the best.

All right, I'll go look for Tiffany. And that's what I'll do is I'll go look for Tiffany.

Oh, I know who you're talking about.

Yeah, sure. But we have strengths, right? So we can talk about what we could do with our strengths and how that might come in handy with a casino heist. Agreed.

We could've just used these air vents and waited for some fucking ducks.

He got confused about a lot of things. I've gone back to that museum every single night since at the exact same time looking for those ducks. I feel horrible. Why would you return to the scene of the crime?

Those ducks are going to show up and wonder why we're not there. I've got to let them know that the deal's done. Oops.

Oh, I thought you meant including Gino.

You know, before you do that, give me one second. And I'm gonna go over to the bartender. Hi, I need to get a unicorn for you know who, you know where. And I'm gonna wink at him.

No. They bring me in for the big jobs. I'm the private pixie for you-know-who, you-know-where.

They don't tell you much, do they, when you're working down here? The boss is gonna get really angry if I don't get the unicorn back up to him soon, and that's not gonna look good for your little place, your little casino, is it? And I'm gonna squeeze my boobs together.

What's your name, kid?

Janet.

It's really nice to meet you.

The name's Twixie. Twixie the Pixie.

the best thing you can do in situations like this when you're working with big men like these is to just say yes and do what you're told can i get that unicorn with a 19. right away um just just uh uh uh uh wait wait wait here i'll i'll i'll i'll be right back keep your head down presumably in the kitchen

I have to use both of my hands to hold it on my little tray.

I just fly back to the group carrying this unicorn.

I'll put in a good word for you with the men upstairs.

I bet. All right. See you later, toots. I'll wink at him and fly away.

Look, I brought us a unicorn.

Gee, no, I did not go get a drink for you.

If we're gonna leave... I'm not drinking that shit. Gino, can you shut up for once? Sorry, boss. Sorry. I'm just a little nervous here. If we're walking out of the elevator into that room, we have to have a reason we're walking out of the elevator into that room. This is the most expensive drink in the entire place. We were told that at the museum, so it's probably right here.

You know what I mean?

So if we're going into a high stakes room with the most expensive drink in the place, we could potentially have someone we're giving it to. We met this bunny lady who was...

Fixing the air conditioning? And the ducks? You are the guard that had to come upstairs with me because I couldn't hold, I couldn't push any of the buttons because I had to carry the drink with both hands. And this gentleman right here is on a shift change and we were all riding up on the elevator on our own.

I wasn't either, master.

I'm like trying to fly with the speed of the elevator and sometimes I fly too high, sometimes I, yeah.

You should probably do the thing.

You have, like, black ski masks on.

I'm, like, so ready. Yeah, you guys are geared up, sweating. I'm very ready.

Yeah, even for me to use my, like, laser dance magic. It spells.

Looks like I convinced that poor kid to get us a free unicorn for no reason, so... No, it'll come in handy. Well, it's really heavy.

No, I don't think that's a good idea. Give it to me. I'll hand it over to Knuckles.

Oh, those guards probably don't have access to the higher floors.

You thought what was like a chip or something.

Oh, I love sour cream and onion. Do you have any cheddar and sour cream, the orange ones? Those are my favorite.

They have to have the ruffles in them, though. I don't like the flat ones.

We just made 100,000 gold pieces.

Oh, no, thanks. Did you grab me a fresh jug of milk from downstairs?

11, 19.

I hadn't seen it before, but now I'm wondering how I could have possibly missed it. It's gigantic.

Did the intel actually tell you that, or is that something you're just saying?

Like there's some kind of head behind that.

So what, you're going to get us the milk?

We all have 12?

Oh.

No, I have 18.

Is it very clear that we're still in an anti-magic field? So the Beholder's not going to be able to do anything.

Is Lumi still up there?

Yeah, she is. Second from the top. Is the werewolf still up there?

He's a good rhino.

So did you hear what he said when he came back up? We got 10 days until the heist. 10 more days than I thought we had.

I'm going to use my coin. And luckily, I'd gone down to the Magical Mysterium place on 57th. And I had seen Ifrita. One of my really, really good friends, she's an Afridi, if you haven't been able to tell. She travels with a lot of wares from all over the world. She offered me an iron flask for a combustion job I did for her a while back. I like to use my iron flask on this beholder.

Yeah, Afrida Kahlo.

She's got her- She's a painter on this side.

Yeah. Well, she had them on her fingers. But then, like, when I walked in, she started eating them. She was like, oh, it's just glitzy.

Oh, you know, I know you travel a lot. And I was thinking, do you have anything kind of fun where you could, like... trap something in it for long periods of time like something much better than a banishment spell anything like that i would say a freedy bottle but are you listening frida frida are you listening you got anything you can sell me i'm thinking oh

Do you think I could have it for free, considering the fact that I did that combustion job for you when your ex-boyfriend left you?

How about 99 to 100% off? You know, I did kill that guy, and it was never traced back to you.

No, I'd love a good throttle.

You know, you look like you're really, really busy, so I'm just going to excuse me. Are you the bitch that's been fucking my husband? And that's the end scene.

Yeah, I know. Hopefully it's. Really low.

Oh, it's a 17 DC.

Yeah.

So as an action, I speak the flask command word, which was... Forget about it. That's just all one word. Forget about it. Forget about it. And I open it up and it's within 60 feet of me. Is it native to this plane of existence? I would say Beholder probably wouldn't be, but I don't know.

Has it been trapped by a flask before?

And I think we should use a portion of the 100,000 gold to get me some more incendiary powder.

No.

It remains in the flask until released. The flask can only hold one creature at a time. A creature trapped in the flask doesn't need to breathe, eat, or drink, and doesn't age. And so, I could release it, but I'm not going to.

Thank you, Afrida. May you rest in peace. And that's when my ladder hits the floor.

Well, now we have a beholder if we ever need one.

Is it because they said forget about it?

How do you think I've run my bombs on pixie dust and hope? I mean, that's half of it.

That is my vengeance for the midnight carnival.

Oh, God. Yeah, that was all a Frida. May she rest in peace. How heavy is that thing? Oh, it doesn't weigh much.

You know, boss, I think I can trust you with a lot of things. A flask with a beholder in it isn't one of them. I'm going to keep it right here. A flask with anything, really?

Time for a little ye olde fashion.

But I do have to have a little bit of incendiary powder to get the pixie dust to really make that kaboom, you know? that I like so much.

I would have to charge more because it contains a beholder.

Yes, tamed for an hour. It's under my command for an hour. Who's that pocket monster?

And the best part about it, the pixie dust mixed with the glitter, it's like these tiny little plastic shrapnels that just tear through people. Great. Oh, hey, boss. Can I have my milk?

So what are we gonna do now?

I guess we can go up in the escalator now.

Was really lucky. I knew that Boulder was going to be there.

You know its name is Beholder, not Boulder, right?

I'm going to be quite honest. I'm surprised that no one else has shot that eye before today. Yeah.

You know what they should call you? Yeah. Doctor Documentary. I mean document.

What was your plan, Gino?

Gino, I don't want to ruin your plan, but I'm nine inches tall and I can fly.

You hear him leave.

Yeah, the plan was, I think, that I will fly up.

I will cast my mage hand. And use it to remove the crystal that's jarring the elevator in an attempt to get it to go down. Okay. And then I'll call down. I'm removing... There's a crystal that's jamming the place. There are two pools of blood. It looks like some people might have died or... A hemorrhoid or something.

And so I'm hoping that once I get this crystal out, that you can reuse your crystal to try and get the elevator to go down.

45 minutes from now when they confront this crew, they turn around, they've got 14 flasks under each arm.

Not sponsored. But we are sponsored by Charmin Ultra. If you have an itchy tush, Charmin Ultra is the choice for you.

No, I don't. I started using Charmin Ultra, and now I can shit after I eat a full box of Cheez-Its. Wow.

Killed?

How far from the level IMAX, I'm still flying up there, to where they are in the elevator? What's that distance?

I think I have a hempen rope. It's about 60 feet. Let me double check my inventory.

You just look like the side of Indiana Jones.

Okay, so you get this double roll. It's in your inventory because it's that fucking D&D one. It is.

I have, but it's only 50 feet above me.

I'll fly down, I'll attach the rope, throw it into the elevator so they can climb out of the elevator onto the top.

Do we have 20 minutes to fix the elevator?

Oh, well then let me have this rope back.

Oh, boss, we might want to shut the window. It seems like the customers that are trying to get into the shop can hear everything we're saying.

I am going to cast Faerie Fire. Oh! Just to see if there's anything lurking unhidden in the area. It's a 20-foot cube. And so I'm just going to cast it kind of, I don't know how big the room is, but try and get as much of the room as possible. And so anything that, any creatures in the area would be outlined in light.

I rolled a natural one. On my chaos magic. Did you really? Yes, I did.

Oh, no, no, that's wrong.

You and all creatures within 30 feet of me gained vulnerability to piercing damage for the next minute.

I have no idea what you're talking about when you mentioned Vinny and that quail. Oh, were you talking when we go down and we're hanging out with the juice heads? Is that what you've been doing? Yeah, being a meatball with the juice heads.

He's one of the hottest guidos on the shore.

Oh yeah, every Friday night.

Gino Clutzy.

Well, to be fair, we're listening to house music.

He is making the homework. I think we're about to be out-heisted. What? I think we're about to be out-heisted. Of course we're not. We've got a beholder in a flask.

No, you can't. How do you survive this?

What's your, how much health do you have? Well, you know, we're gonna see.

Those are d10s. You're rolling d10s. Oh, what are they?

I'm going to shut the window.

Oh, the DJ, yeah.

Yeah, DJ Paulie B, Paulie Bear. Oh, Paulie Bear, yeah, yeah, you know him? Yeah, DJ Paulie B. Yeah, he's always hanging out down at the shore with Vinny.

Yeah, they say that you pay for their shore house every year during the summer.

What are you gonna do, boss? We can't keep going without a muscle. I've... You can heal him, right?

And Pixar moms. Shopping in the deli.

Yeah, do you think the next time you tell us we got to come over for the heist that you could maybe preface it with all of that other information first?

Kind of like the light of the... the rods that you just moved.

I do think you should stop.

I do think you should stop emailing us to let us know when we're meeting for the heist. And maybe find some other way to let us know.

They're going to fall in fighting.

Oh, you want me to open the safe box?

Why are you winking? Do you want me to actually do it or you want me to do something else?

Yeah, I'm going to go do my hands thing where I create those laser beams.

I thought I would do it the same way I did all the other ones.

I'm gonna, what kind of material is their device made out of?

Mature stream. You can't say sex and arrive in the same sentence on Twitch.

So you were saying?

Okay. Like what kind of metal?

Like what's the temperature for melting? I don't know.

Okay.

Aluna Moonshadow.

This is Mary Mary quite contrary.

She's a scene kid. She was really into his dark eyeliner.

Why are you looking at the map of the museum from our last time?

Knife.

You just said any five-letter word.

Okay, you want another one? Frost.

As the vault unhinges.

What are you doing trying to date her daughter?

We don't have much time.

We should definitely work on getting all of the gold into some kind of receptacle. Knuckles, you're a getaway guy. Do you have a solution for this? Oh, yeah.

We get to keep our secrets, you codecracker.

We really don't have that much time, guys. We're gonna have to figure out a way to get every single piece of this gold into one individual place so it can all leave with us.

Yeah, of course. So this is how it could work, right? Since you're going to get teleported out, we just get it all packed into a receptacle and then you just tell us where we're going to meet you to split it up.

Thanks for hanging out.

Oh.

Did we ever find out the outcome of the game?

Eight for intelligence.

Don't do what?

Why not?

I do want to do the second one, but I don't want to die.

I'm not giving you this bag. Why?

Can I put stuff in it if I want? I don't care.

I don't know. It's a glitzy size big. And I'm just going to start putting stuff in the bag.

I'm going to dump the stuff out of the bag in one of the portables. And then you make enough room.

So if you put a bag of holdings in a portable hole, it does a huge, like, big bang and explodes, destroying everyone.

Right. This is what it says. This pouch of cosmetics, hair dye, and small props lets you create disguises that change your physical appearance. Proficiency with this kit lets you add your proficiency bonus to any ability checks you make to create a visual disguise.

Yeah.

But all it does is change your physical appearance. You're a bear. Okay. But I'm, I got dark fur.

Get some pointy ears. Oh man. You are literally a bear putting on prosthetic ears.

Did you say your name was Orcus?

Oh, that's really close to another very popular guy.

You gave yourself your own name?

I gave myself my own name. I'm Glithy the Bang Sparks.

Okay.

Yes. And he didn't say barely because he's a bear. No, I hate bears. He said barely because I'm allergic to bears. I'm sorry, I'm supposed to shut up.

Well, you see, the moment we got to the vault, the drows closed the door and then we were teleported here. So I'm guessing Austalin's stuck outside. This was all happening as the game was ending. You know that's the most important part for Arstalen.

We just gotta kill this remaining drow.

And then we can let off the limit.

No.

There's a curse on him, and if you touch him, then you don't want to know what's going to happen.

Oh no, you've triggered the curse! And I open the bottle and let out the beholder. Oh my god! Well, that's what I do. Wait, is he still your friend? Yeah, he's my friend for an hour.

Yeah, for an hour.

He just killed this guy.

I'm gonna follow them, and then when it looks like the cloud giant's about to actually lose, I'm gonna open up the iron flask and try and suck the boulder back in. Okay. So he would just need to make a wisdom saving throw.

I'm going to turn to Geno.

And I'm going to cast Agnazar's Scorcher on Geno. I'm really sorry about this, boss, but trust me. My blood pressure! It's a dex 15.

Yes, you pass. So you're going to take five points of scorching fire. Ah, fuck! But my plan is, and I will relay this to you. Ah, fuck, I'll do it. Okay, boss, I'm really sorry I had to do that, but what I'm gonna try and do is I'm gonna try and get the Beholder back in his bottle right before he kills that thing. You gotta play dead, okay?

We're gonna make it look like you were hit with a rogue laser beam. You burned the hole in my skinny jeans! Yeah, there were holes in them before, boss. And if we get out of here, we'll buy you new ones. Yeah, and so we could put you in the hole and just be like, oh yeah, you died trying to steal the money and you fell dead body into the hole, you know?

19. Do you have pictures on that can?

You told me to open the bottle. I didn't tell you to do that. Yes, you did. You looked at me and you winked.

You looked at me and you winked. He clearly wants me to open the beholder. I think we need to finish the giant off. I'm pretty sure. Send him to Olga.

He's more fast.

And I'm going to try and, or I'm actually, because he's my friend for an hour. Stop hurting him, boss. Stop hurting him. Look at him. He's weak and sad.

Natural 20. Ooh.

I know you didn't want to stop, but you got to. He might be the only way you can get out of here.

And then I'm gonna look at the cloud giant. If I were you, I wouldn't try and hurt him again, because I don't think he wants to listen to me. I'm using all of my abilities to try and get him to stop fighting you. I'm helping you out, buddy. You're all liars and tricks and thieves. Go ahead and kill him.

I tried to tell him and he wasn't gonna listen. I didn't know what else to do.

It looks like this entire area is cracking and turning into dust, so we need to get out like now.

Oh, you're looking around. Well, I'm looking at Eddie Eyeball. And I'm gonna open the flask and try and suck him back in.

He does, yeah.

Sure. Yeah, he could.

Good boy, Eddie. And I put him on my...

That was all Knuckles. He's the one that told me to unleash Eddie, so I did.

Why are you repeating everything that Knuckles is saying, Keno?

This is my plan. Can we vote for a new leader?

I'd second that motion. I would like, you know, I feel like this is a good time. I would like to vote for Knuckles as a mastermind.

So who's, who's for Knuckles?

Yeah. Is this a mutiny? No, because we're not going to kill Gino. No, it's a democracy.

It's a democratic republic. This is how it is.

OK, well, I still think that's two versus nobody else voted, so. Get out and vote, kids. I'll vote for Gino.

OK, well, if I let Eddie out, he's going to vote for Knuckles, so that's three.

He wouldn't even remember that we double-crossed him. Have you seen how many of the pills he's taken for his blood pressure? Give him another 30 minutes and his head's gonna explode.

What do you keep staring at, boss?

Yeah, you're the new boss, boss.

Okay, I'll fly down and check it out. And I'll fly down.

How do you know?

We're all comfortable with this? We're all comfortable with leaving you alone? I don't think we're comfortable with anything that we've done, but we've done it.

And there's probably a twist, yeah.

I don't know.

So it doesn't look like there's anything to steal.

I'm just gonna go ahead and do a countdown, and on three, you're both gonna say what your plan is. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. All right, are you ready?

Yeah.

Two. No, I'm gonna do the countdown, but you just say what your plan is on three, okay? Okay, yeah, yeah, yeah. Well, not on three, but right after I say three, okay? Okay, yeah, yeah. One, two, three. The plan is... No, right after three. We're gonna start again. Okay, okay. One... One, two, three.

You know, I think it might be our only choice.

Well, let's see what happens then.

Oh yeah.

So why don't you hand me the deck and you pull one card just in case something horrible happens. Yeah, yeah. That way we don't lose the whole deck.

Holy shit! Thank you, Kimma. Don't fuck me, Kimma.

All right, boss. I shuffle them real good. Pick the right one. You know, just use, what do they call it? Like intention? Like manifest success. You know what I mean? Okay. And just use your intuition. And whichever card is drawing you to it, just pull that one.

And like don't second guess yourself, you know, boss. Like pick the first one that comes to mind because that's always the right answer. One moment.

Yeah, so, you know, just whichever one of these is drawing you to them.

Yeah.

Hit me.

Thank you. You know, boss, I don't think that was the one. No, I don't think that was it. You know, I know I said not to second guess yourself and to go with the first one. No, I'm second guessing myself. Is anyone else feeling a little overly sweaty and nervous and full of loss?

So go ahead, pick a different one. This time, manifest success and pick your first choice.

Okay, boss.

I'll pull it out. Oh, gosh. There it is. Do you want me to tell you what it says? No, you do it. You do it, boss.

This one is sitting over here so that we can talk about whatever it is. That was the meanest use of a dread I've ever seen. I think that's great. Thank you. Did you see what it was? No. Or did you just do it for fun?

I can't believe Derek didn't trust my shuffling.

And it's got like this weird, it's got this weird Spoda man in a bubble in like what looks like beneath a basketball court.

So, no, the boss is gone, but he got out. So should we pull a card?

Oh no, look, his stone's right there.

Oh, look at that, Orla. His stone's right there next to his dirty underpants. Oh no. Why would he wear underpants with that many holes in them? Like most of it's not even attached to the band. Were these supposed to be a different color other than brown once? Oh no. They look like they might have been blue.

Did he not have enough money to buy new underpants? So should we pick a co-op?

Should we pick one and see if we go to where he goes? Do we want to? Is there another way to leave this area? I don't know. I think we should try it. Seemed like it worked for the boss.

No says, calling it now, arc five of prime, the party finds Geno's prison, and calling it now may also be suggesting And then they can deliver Gino to Bearhive. Holy shit. All right. Okay, let me see. One, two, three, four. I declare a thumb war. Oh, I got the moon card. I love moons.

It's really pretty.

Shut up!

You know, this card's really pretty, Orla. I feel like, I don't know, I feel like I could have things if I wanted them, you know what I mean? Like a way out of here? Yeah, maybe, but I don't know, I think you should pull from the deck and see what happens.

Yeah, but... I mean, so far, boss got out of here. That's great. That's a thumbs up. I feel super powerful. I mean, to be fair, he's a bear, so he's pretty hairy anyway. No one's gonna notice his little wiener. Ain't none that little.

We don't even know if that's what happened to Gino. Maybe I should draw a card at the last resort. That sounds like someone who's a punk-ass bitch. Ola? Ola, are you a punk-ass bitch? No. Would you want your kids growing up thinking their mom was a punk-ass bitch? Too afraid to draw a card from a magical deck? I guess not. Alright then.

Just, you know, pick whichever one you think is the most, you know, like I said to Gino, manifest positivity. Pick the first one that comes to mind. Just grab whichever one you think is right.

Yeah, well, now we only have one.

Think about the Don.

Look, see that, Ola? You weren't a punk-ass bitch and you haven't exploded yet.

What? That seems dangerous. No. Do I put the Jesta back in here? No. You know what I said about being a punk ass bitch? I do. I do. I'll tell Merry Christmas that a mom flaked out at the last minute.

You know, draw the first one, see how you feel. See how punk-assy you feel after the first one, you know? You're very convincing, let's see. I don't know that I like it. It's part of being a fae folk, you know? Go ahead. Oh, that's a good card. I can feel it.

Oh yeah, that's fine. I don't want to fight anybody anyway.

You know what? I totally get why they say don't give this to your party because you really want to keep pulling cards.

We have two. One common. We have two donated.

35.

Two communal and yours. And mine.

Just fucking blast him.

Little Lone Guard says, Lauren brings you kittens and you make her fight dead with an avatar.

I think Lauren's talking to me. You want me to tell your kids you're a punk ass bitch? All right.

I'll make sure Merry Christmas finds a good boyfriend or girlfriend or whatever.

I was told that I could not interfere in any way.

They're sitting right there on the ground. All she has to do is draw one. I'm not stopping her.

You're also not here.

It wasn't laughing the previous round.

Oh, yeah.

But this time, it's Mind Slippered, so you have to minus the d4.

See, I told you you weren't a punk-ass bitch. Now take another card.

Oh. My arm's getting tired holding this deck out here.

Okay. So are you gonna draw another card or not? Because I'm getting bored.

I really wish we were all back in the room above Gino's house with all of that gold.

Oh my God, what happened? You used one of your wishes. I didn't know I had any wishes.

Hey boss, we got more of these cards. Do you want to pull another one?

Orla, did you want to draw another card from this deck?

We found this, well, the boss found this inside of the vault. And he used it and he was naked and gone. I used it and felt like kind of powerful, but I didn't know why. And then Orla used it and she got bigger. But only by like one point. And then she fought death and won. Because she ain't no punk ass bitch. And so now she's going to pull another card and see what happens.

Oh, and then I said, well, I'm not going to repeat it just in case all of a sudden it happens again. But I essentially asked for us to be here with all of the money. And then we were.

You've really had a lot of foreskin, by foresight, boss.

You know...

Stop it. You know, I really wish Orla had picked a different card. Same.

Well, to be fair, I didn't wish to restore her soul. I wish that she'd picked a different card. The magic happens immediately. Just saying. She's saying loophole.

squiggling at my brain, you know, like I'm seeing darkness. What the fuck happened to her? She's collapsed on the ground. I'm trying to talk to you right now. I think that Orla's not with us any longer. But I feel like I can see in my mind's eye where she is and where she's trapped. Come on, I didn't make it that strong, Orla. But it's kind of dark.

It's kind of dark, and there were some big people there, and they're guarding over her, you know?

Yeah, we're going to think on it for a while. No, boys. Come on.

Everybody's doing it.

Yeah, it can. Yeah, it can.

But you do have to declare how many you're going to draw before you draw your first one.

I think three is a good number.

I mean, the worst that could happen is what happened to me. All right, I'll draw three.

And we'll just do this while I wait to figure out where Woola's at. Yeah, exactly.

Yeah. Oh, I got the moon card, and that was really cool. So maybe the sun card, give that to me. I have to put it over here with all the disappeared ones.

So I wonder what this cod's gonna do.

I mean, that's what you really want. I wish you were back in the mind prison. I'm just kidding.

I said that this deck is just so powerful. That's really nice. There's so many cool things in here. Go ahead and pull your next one. Knuckles, have you been working out more than usual? Pull your next one, Knuckles. and if you want to because of your declared draw draw two additional cards you may now

Oh, that sounds like a good one. I got the moon, and I really like how that one worked out.

Okay, are you ready for more? Oh my gosh.

I like gems. They're really pretty and shiny. It's one of my favorite things ever.

One more. We're going to go one more, OK?

Pick a good one.

And there's beautiful oranges and browns and golden colors in the leaves.

Oil is in the broche. What's a broche?

Nothing. Well, just what happens? Did you look it up?

You looked up ruin, didn't you?

I really wish you'd drawn a different card.

I would say we can return it, because it's as if he had a different... Well, for now, he would draw another card. I would say it's as if that didn't happen, so we put that one back in and just hope that we don't get it.

Yes, I know.

No, we're putting Ruin back in, because I'm using a wish to undo it.

But then we would put Ruin back in.

I really wish that you had drawn a different card.

Fan them out.

So now all the gems are back and all the gold's still there.

It's not an addiction. You're sure?

Okay, okay, okay.

I can't wish anymore. I'm all out of them.

Don't you have an hour to use it or something?

No, you're supposed to use it immediately.

This is how many we drew, and only one of us suffered a horrible fate.

Now you have an unwanted sandwich in your mouth.

But you know, even though Orla's not here and she now has left 10 orphans to the world, we accomplished the heist.

I'm going to light someone on fire, maybe a whole block of the city.

That is so fun. I understand why this magic item destroys parties. I don't want to stop pulling cards.

No, it's got to be something like this.

Ross, I got you your cherry juice. Well, you know. When your gout flares up real bad.