Gordon Flett

Yes, that's the great thing about it.

We can get a sense of agency and a sense of importance by engaging in a pursuit of making other people feel better, making a difference.

I saw this with my wife's uncle who almost lived to 100.

He lived by himself in the house he was born with by himself.

for almost 100 years.

And he became the incredible volunteer to his community.

He would actually deliver Meals on Wheels to people who were younger than him, and he would cackle when he'd tell me this.

I'm in my 90s, and I'm giving help to people who are younger than me.

He was also the church organist for over 80 years, because it was right around the corner, the church from his

from his home.

And I said to him one time, Derek, Uncle Derek, I said, how on earth have you got by?

Have you ever had experience of loneliness?

And he cut me off.

He goes, not even for a second.

He goes, because I know there are people in my community who care about me, but also rely and depend on me, which is a key part of feeling of mattering, is that you can

satisfy your sense of mattering by getting people who come to depend on you through coaching mentoring just being that person who reaches out to them when you're worrying about this and then and it comes back to you so it's sort of like an investment where you're investing in your own sense of well-being by by doing that and establishing those relationships with people who care about you and it's the best the best kind of mattering is reciprocal mattering where you matter to each other

Yes, people, I think, forget what they've done for other people.

They just lose sight of how much difference they've made in the lives of other people.

You know, they say everybody at some time has dark thoughts.

But, you know, at that point, that would be a great time to think about somebody who you've made a difference to, who would miss you.