Gordon Flett
speaker
1,089 appearances
3 recordings
2 series
first heard Feb 2026
last heard 15 Jun
Gordon Flett’s voice in public audio — every appearance, attributed to the second.
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recordings per month · last 12 monthsRecordings per month over the last 12 months — 3 in all, peaking in Feb 2026 with 2.
Appearances
People who are health psychologists talk about things that get under the skin
I think that mattering gets under the skin in terms of just providing, first of all, a sense of calmness and lack of stress that people who are high in mattering are more able to cope and are resilient and adaptable.
So I think that's part of it.
But also there's a sense of.
security and safety that comes from knowing that people care about you and would miss you if you're gone and are looking out for you.
And at the bottom of that is the sense of identity that you see yourself as someone who actually is cared about and is connected to other people.
So I think there's multiple things that are going on beneath the skin, but also there's just a basic feeling of calmness and a
the capacity of knowing that when trouble ensues and stress is coming your way, that you'll be able to get through it, perhaps by calling on some of the people who have given you that sense of mattering in the first place.
I believe there is some component to that in terms of our basic need to connect with others.
But we want to make sure that we're connecting with others in the way that gives us that sense of safety and security.
I also think, though, that beyond the group connection is that one-to-one connection, mattering is tied into our sense of attachment.
And when you look at what fosters good attachment, many of the same mechanisms are involved in terms of getting the attention and the care and the responsiveness
of the caregivers early on in life.
So there's a hardwired component that's built in very early.
Perhaps there's an evolutionary sense as Bill has suggested, but also that, that deep sense of security that comes from having those connections with caring providers who, you know, one's mother, one's father, grandfather, grandmother, whoever it is.
And, you know, I've been looking at the work of John Bowlby recently, the famous attachment theorist and,
He doesn't talk about mattering per se, but he talks about the care that comes with attachments because he warned us that attachments can also be bad attachments to people who are not optimal parents.
And when you're a more optimal parent and responsive caregiver, you're focused on meeting the emotional needs in addition to the physical needs.
Yes, that certainly is the case.
And I thank David for sharing that with us.
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