Gordon Flett

And I'm convinced that there's an enormous potential here for suicide prevention, where it's not just a slogan, where the promotion of the feeling of mattering and how to reach out to people when you're feeling like you're feeling psychological pain and wondering about your significance, that could work wonders in terms of saving many of the people that you referred to.

And sadly, you know, when you think about it,

When people are at the point where they're willing to do something where they will no longer be with us, it clearly is something that means that they've lost the sense of mattering in a positive way.

The way I talk about it is, well, you know, you've got an incredible double-edged sword here.

There's the joy and the happiness and the sense of contentment and engagement that comes from feeling like others see you as important and paying attention to you.

But the flip side is the pain of the feeling of not mattering or the fear of becoming someone who doesn't matter.

And then that can be channeled in many different directions, often turned against oneself, but sometimes it's turned against other people.

And, you know, in that case, anything goes because of that sense of not having a concern about the future other than being somebody who's remembered.

But it's a remarkable thing in terms of the intense feeling both for the positive when you feel like you matter...

but everybody knows what it feels like when somebody seems to go out of their way to make you feel like you don't matter.

And if you have a life like that, eventually you can build up the kind of resentment that potentiates many of these acts.

Yeah, exactly.

It's like you're going to say, okay, you know what?

I do matter.

You people were mistaken about me, and you're going to get to think this to remember by, and it's so sad because, you know, innocent people who have nothing to do with this person are lost in the process.

And that just shows you how personal mattering is.

It's something that's modifiable, but it's something that's very, very personal.

And it's not the same as belonging.

Belonging is you have a place at the table.

I say mattering is do they hear your voice when you're at that table or do they ignore you and talk over you at that table?