Greg Fitzsimmons

I know. And then they make you clear your own plate and go in the fucking kitchen and wash it.

I remember there was a Seinfeld episode where Kramer was pitching a pizza place where you make your own pizza. And he had a friend invest, and the guy had a restaurant, and he went out of business.

Yeah. And then you got to go to the salad bar. I got to walk to get my salad.

I remember that. We went to one of those places in Vegas. Was it Fogo de Chao? Fogo de Chao, yeah. Fogo de Chao, yeah. That was awesome. Those places are the best. Yeah.

I was in South Africa one time, and we were at a game park called Pilanesburg or something. And they had a restaurant next to the game park, and you would go there. And I remember it was called Carnivore. And you go in, and they come over with skewers, but it was like, you want some giraffe? You want some hippo? You want some buck? Yeah. Everything. I tried everything.

And how are they not dead? I mean, how do they protect themselves?

Do you know that? Oh, okay.

It's like the bottom half is one animal and the top half is another animal.

I don't know how you mix. Forest giraffe. How do you mix with a giraffe? Because how do you fuck it if you're another animal? Well, you have to do another giraffe. Yeah. Yeah. That's why they don't mix with anybody. Giraffes do the fucking.

I just saw a video on the Internet of sloths having sex. How was it? Well, it was as exciting as you would think. It was like, first of all, like the mating call, like the female was like a mile away. And it was like this little, like this little noise. And he just perks up. He goes racing down the tree, which takes like a day.

and then he has to go through these croc-infested waters, and he just keeps hearing the noise. He keeps going, and he gets to the other side, and he climbs up the tree. There's another male. They go to battle. There's a sloth battle with their three little claws, and then the guy gets to the top, and the female's there, and he gets on top of her, and it's just like...

One stroke, deet, goosh, done. That was the whole thing. Wow. Like, think about how horny those fuckers are. Like, the average married couple, like, what does it take to get laid? You just got to listen to your wife for a little while. Yeah, how was your day?

And just listen, and you're in. And even then, men are like, I don't know. It's a lot to ask.

That's the bat signal for Dick. Yep. And then, but the amazing thing is, like, when you think about that, what drives animals, us being animals, to do the things we do? I was thinking about this when I watched this law thing.

All the things that gratify us, that nature has taught us to procreate in order to, you know, whether it's eat, your stomach hurts, and the joy of the taste of food, all these things that are built into us as animals that keep us procreating, the fucking, even like, you got an itch. And you take your nails and you scratch it.

Well, there was probably a reason because there used to be bugs embedded in your skin or dry skin or like everything that we do is somehow built into rewards and punishments that are unconscious to us. Mm-hmm. You know, and are they going to be able to, can you program that into people eventually to alter behavior?

Yeah, it's like a big game of chicken. And there's no like when we were kids, I don't know if this happened in your school, but like we had drills. We had nuclear war drills. Like it was a day to day existential worry that people didn't sleep because of nukes. Those same fucking nukes are tenfold today in terms of the arsenals. And way more people have them. Way more countries have them.

And there's way more. When you look at what's going on in the Middle East, like that is a fucking that that is going to explode at some point. And it's going to happen fast because there's all these alliances where if one country does it. Eight others are going to do it the same day.

North Korea, man. Once North Korea has it, it's a fucking. They have it.

fucking psychopaths well we did it in Oklahoma in uh I guess it was like maybe the 50s or 60s oh yeah and they the fucking they didn't they didn't tell people to leave the neighboring towns and there's all these people the cancer rates were through the roof here it says um