Greg Fitzsimmons

Real skinny and wired and couldn't miss a ball. No, that's the thing about pool when you play for a long time in one match is you just lose focus for a second. And then all of a sudden, it's like golf is the same way. You have to go from hyper-focus, totally present, to relaxing, shooting the shit, listening to music, whatever. And then hyper-focus again.

Really? Yeah, so I used to bring her. When she was like... 19 and 20. She was into pool, but there's no fucking pool halls on the west side in L.A. And so she had a fake ID. Isn't there a House of Billiards in Santa Monica? Closed. When did it go under? Like three years ago. So I would bring her. She had a fake ID, and we would go shoot bar pool, and we'd play as a team.

Really? Yeah, so I used to bring her. When she was like... 19 and 20. She was into pool, but there's no fucking pool halls on the west side in L.A. And so she had a fake ID. Isn't there a House of Billiards in Santa Monica? Closed. When did it go under? Like three years ago. So I would bring her. She had a fake ID, and we would go shoot bar pool, and we'd play as a team.

Really? Yeah, so I used to bring her. When she was like... 19 and 20. She was into pool, but there's no fucking pool halls on the west side in L.A. And so she had a fake ID. Isn't there a House of Billiards in Santa Monica? Closed. When did it go under? Like three years ago. So I would bring her. She had a fake ID, and we would go shoot bar pool, and we'd play as a team.

And I taught her everything, and we would go in, and it was so funny because, like, we'd play against another couple. It was two guys. And we'd start shooting, and she got pretty good. And you know me. I'm okay. And so we would win some games, and then she would say something like, oh, yeah, my father was saying, and then we'd go, oh, thank God that's your father.

And I taught her everything, and we would go in, and it was so funny because, like, we'd play against another couple. It was two guys. And we'd start shooting, and she got pretty good. And you know me. I'm okay. And so we would win some games, and then she would say something like, oh, yeah, my father was saying, and then we'd go, oh, thank God that's your father.

And I taught her everything, and we would go in, and it was so funny because, like, we'd play against another couple. It was two guys. And we'd start shooting, and she got pretty good. And you know me. I'm okay. And so we would win some games, and then she would say something like, oh, yeah, my father was saying, and then we'd go, oh, thank God that's your father.

Some old creep who found some young, talented pool player to take under his wing. But that's what she does. She goes out at night with her friends, and she's like that pool junkie, the one that's all night long hanging around the table.

Some old creep who found some young, talented pool player to take under his wing. But that's what she does. She goes out at night with her friends, and she's like that pool junkie, the one that's all night long hanging around the table.

Some old creep who found some young, talented pool player to take under his wing. But that's what she does. She goes out at night with her friends, and she's like that pool junkie, the one that's all night long hanging around the table.

On the west side. Okay. Is there places that you can go to? No pool halls. None? Just bars with tables. God damn.

On the west side. Okay. Is there places that you can go to? No pool halls. None? Just bars with tables. God damn.

On the west side. Okay. Is there places that you can go to? No pool halls. None? Just bars with tables. God damn.

Yeah, I used to shoot with Dom. He's fun to play with.

Yeah, I used to shoot with Dom. He's fun to play with.

Yeah, I used to shoot with Dom. He's fun to play with.

You know who owned that pool hall? David Brenner. David Brenner. Yeah, stand-up comedian.

You know who owned that pool hall? David Brenner. David Brenner. Yeah, stand-up comedian.

You know who owned that pool hall? David Brenner. David Brenner. Yeah, stand-up comedian.

It's called You Know Me. It's on YouTube. And you can go to FitzDawg.com and link to it from that. I got some tour dates coming up at Denver Comedy Works this weekend.