Greg Gutfeld

Smoking cigarettes. I remember buying cigarettes in a machine at Macy's. You'd go downstairs into the hallway, put money in, and me and this guy, Bob. Yeah, we went to the high school, and we smoked cigarettes. And then I came home, and I spilled my guts without them even asking. My mom said, hey, what did you guys do? And I go, we smoked. And Bob never hung around with me again. Yeah.

Smoking cigarettes. I remember buying cigarettes in a machine at Macy's. You'd go downstairs into the hallway, put money in, and me and this guy, Bob. Yeah, we went to the high school, and we smoked cigarettes. And then I came home, and I spilled my guts without them even asking. My mom said, hey, what did you guys do? And I go, we smoked. And Bob never hung around with me again. Yeah.

Up next, what's the earliest childhood memory we can remember? The answer when we come back.

Up next, what's the earliest childhood memory we can remember? The answer when we come back.

Well, I remember, okay, I remember it was dark. And it was weird because I was very comfortable. I was very comfortable. I was like asleep, awake. And suddenly, it just started happening. And then all of a sudden, a big light. And I came out and these giant hands grabbed me. Grab me. And I'm like, what's going on? And then I get somebody hits me on my butt.

Well, I remember, okay, I remember it was dark. And it was weird because I was very comfortable. I was very comfortable. I was like asleep, awake. And suddenly, it just started happening. And then all of a sudden, a big light. And I came out and these giant hands grabbed me. Grab me. And I'm like, what's going on? And then I get somebody hits me on my butt.

And next thing you know, I'm like sitting on this woman and she's got these huge breasts. And I'm like, but I just put my mouth right on her breast. And everybody's like, there's all this noise and bright lights. It was insane. Wow. Yeah, I think I was 17.

And next thing you know, I'm like sitting on this woman and she's got these huge breasts. And I'm like, but I just put my mouth right on her breast. And everybody's like, there's all this noise and bright lights. It was insane. Wow. Yeah, I think I was 17.

you know what's funny this is uh it was something i didn't get paid for when i was like working in magazines fox did not fox had me on their shows they didn't know who i was it wasn't until i started writing for free at the huffington post and that did it and that's when the people at fox started reading my stuff and roger ailes called me in and sat down yeah i like what you're right there boy what where you what do you do how much you get paid colonel

you know what's funny this is uh it was something i didn't get paid for when i was like working in magazines fox did not fox had me on their shows they didn't know who i was it wasn't until i started writing for free at the huffington post and that did it and that's when the people at fox started reading my stuff and roger ailes called me in and sat down yeah i like what you're right there boy what where you what do you do how much you get paid colonel

Sanders. Yes. And then the next thing you know, I get a job at Fox. But if it wasn't for like just getting stuff that I didn't get paid a single dime writing for the Huffington Post.

Sanders. Yes. And then the next thing you know, I get a job at Fox. But if it wasn't for like just getting stuff that I didn't get paid a single dime writing for the Huffington Post.

I guess you'd call that a pucky break.

I guess you'd call that a pucky break.

You know, I'll help you out there. Thank you. Because I've got some orphans back home. Uh, what is, I don't, I don't really, I guess it's just the time before the show. Just kind of wait 20 minutes. Yeah. Just kind of waiting around. I think it's like if you played sports before a game, you have that weird nervous energy. Like it could all go bad. This could be the worst.

You know, I'll help you out there. Thank you. Because I've got some orphans back home. Uh, what is, I don't, I don't really, I guess it's just the time before the show. Just kind of wait 20 minutes. Yeah. Just kind of waiting around. I think it's like if you played sports before a game, you have that weird nervous energy. Like it could all go bad. This could be the worst.

This show could end my career or it could just be another show.

This show could end my career or it could just be another show.

No, I just allow that to happen. I just goes it comes and it goes. You know, I just wanted to start, you know, start or stop.

No, I just allow that to happen. I just goes it comes and it goes. You know, I just wanted to start, you know, start or stop.